This morning I was challenged that I need to be honest with my emotions. Both honest to myself and to those around me, so here I go.
I'm really in a lot of pain.....and I almost feel guilty for always having sad things to talk about. I'm trying to focus on you (friends) so that I can have something else to think about or feel....but I do realize that sometimes I might get "me" focused, and I'm sorry. I do ALSO realize that there is a time for that, where I need to focus on healing & working through all the stuff that has been happening around me.
Most days, I really don't want to hang out with anyone....because I just have to explain again what happened. And I need to, want to....kinda, but not all the time. So if I seem to not be calling for a while, know that it's nothing against YOU, it's more me. That said, I really do NEED to hang out & do some fun things where I don't have to think about my pain. I need to see that there is life beyond this current state. Coerce me, bribe me, kidnap me, whatever you have to do to not let me just waste away....ask me more than once....I'll probably cave in. ;-) If I don't, then just pray for me.
Here are some of the thoughts that were given me today: "When you are suffering, you may sometimes tend to withdraw, pull back, and pull away," says Anne Graham Lotz. "I do think there is a time for that, and each day you should spend time alone with the Lord. But don't forsake other people, because other people can give you comfort and encouragement and help you keep your focus. Sometimes you can get so preoccupied with the problem that it consumes you. Other people can help give you a balance."
God wants you to be truthful with yourself and with other people. He wants to free you from the debilitating effects of withdrawing and hiding your emotions. Jesus says in the book of John that "the truth will set you free."