Tuesday, December 09, 2014

God's moving! ....and so am I!

Sometimes in life, God doesn’t always answer your prayers.....but sometimes He does! For the last twenty years, God has been lining things up that cause my heart to break for orphans, particularly in Romania...wanting to love on them, share with them the experience of being in a family, teach them about their worth in Christ and see them have experiences that orphans don’t normally get to have. Well my big news is that this next year, I am planning to move to Romania and become a house-Mom for six orphaned kids! There is so much joy in my heart as I type. I’m excited and nervous too. There will be much more information to come, but right now, I wanted to ask you to pray for the kids I will be loving on and pray for me as I prepare to go. :)

In preparing to leave on this new adventure, there are so many feelings rising to the top inside of my heart....excitement, anticipation, wonder, thankfulness, anxiousness, curiosity, sorrow, joy, and many more. It’s tough to be so excited about the promise of what could be, and yet hold the pain of leaving what is. I hope that each of my friends and family understand how much they are loved and will be missed, how much I value each of them and how much I hope to hear from them and share in this journey with them. I hope that I will leave you with good memories of our relationship, and that we can continue those relationships even if there are thousands of miles in between.

But....more than all the things “I” hope for this time, it is what GOD wants for this time that I’m most curious about. He has been doing so much in my heart, showing me that He is enough, that He is powerful and that He can use me right here, right now, in North Minneapolis each and every day.....He can also use me in a place that I’m not familiar with, that is new, that is far away and some place that only HE is my anchor.

This transition won’t be easy, and however long I’m in Romania I’m sure will bring many joys and hard times as well, but as I go with God into what He is doing in these kids’ lives already, I’m excited to see what will be the fruit.

I’m going to keep blogging, as many of you have been following throughout the past few years, and want to keep you updated on what is happening on the other side of the globe. I’m also going to need support.....prayer, encouragement, financial, letters, etc. It would be great to have you along with me in the ride. It’s going to be a great journey, that is for sure. :)

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

The Trouble with Insignificance

Some days I just feel so insignificant. Like the people who I thought truly cared about me, really don't and that on the scale of priorities for them, I'm definitely not close to the top. We will make plans, and then when they cancel due to a "miscommunication" the phrases "well, I really want to see this person...." are followed up by phrases like "but really, let's just do whatever you want...". The messages seem mixed...not seem, but ARE mixed. So you want to see me, and I can decide when and where we see each other, but really, you would rather see this other person at the time when I wanted to see you. Nice.

Here's the problem.

As I have been pondering this dilemma, and the surge of hurt feelings that tide over my heart, Jesus says, don't you say the same to me? How often do we hear God say, "I want to spend time with you, save me a bit today..." and we respond with "but this is the only chance I'll have to do...." or "there'll be time again later, right?" And what if there isn't? With as much hurt and disappointment that I feel when people say things like this to me, how much more would Jesus when we say that to Him?

I just want to scream at these responses, and say...."don't I matter at all to you?" or "is that how I rate?" or "okay well, I see where I stand"....and how does that relate with my relationship with God? If I truly mean "I'll do whatever you want," do I really mean that? Or am I just saying that to be nice; all the while knowing that I'm going to do what I darn well please the second I turn around?

This confounds me.  Knowing I'm guilty of doing this to God is as frustrating as having it done to me, but worse because now I have no ground to really be upset with the person saying it to my face. :/

What to do, what to do....

Lord, I apologize for responding to you in ways that would make you seem insignificant. There is no excuse. You want my time and my life, and I've given it to you, but some days I act hesitant and selfish. I'm sorry. You are significant and important to me, and You see significance in me too. Help me to remember that when I'm feeling beat up or unimportant. Help me to remember your forgiveness when I don't want to forgive others. Give me strength to listen to You and respond when you call to me. Thank you once again. Your daughter--A.

Monday, July 21, 2014

30 Things I Learned in my 20's

As I pass from one decade to the next, I thought I’d write a few things down, so here are just a few things that I’ve learned in my 20s. Some are just fun, some are some deep truths that have shaped who I am or will be in my next 10 years. These are in no particular order. Enjoy.

  1. Learn a good accent....and use it sporadically. 
  2. Give generously...of yourself, your time & your money.
  3. Take time to breathe or you’ll suffocate yourself on “things” that might not matter.
  4. Take lots of pictures. 
  5. Learn how to clean a cast-iron skillet the “right” way.
  6. Sometimes you make plans and keep them for over 10 years, and then change them....and that’s okay.
  7. Only get a tattoo if it’s something you have really thought through, and that won’t change meaning to you when you’re old.
  8. If you can, eat good food.
  9. When deciding between a TV or a kayak, always choose a kayak.
  10. People shouldn’t get married for the wrong reasons or just on a whim.
  11. Be ready to give your life for someone else, even if you could save yourself by letting them go.
  12. Don’t be ashamed to dress up and act silly.
  13. Believe that God can heal you...and trust Him when He doesn’t.
  14. You don’t know everything.
  15. Don’t be afraid to go to a movie by yourself. You won’t literally die.
  16. It’s okay to let someone else plan things & be in control.
  17. Starting a business is hard, but worth it.
  18. You should only do a “once in a lifetime” thing once (Times Square for New Years Eve)
  19. Go to as many foreign countries as possible.
  20. When in doubt: wear pearls.
  21. Become friends with at least a few people that don’t fit your “friend mold”.
  22. Grief is hard. Denial is worse.
  23. Forgiveness is worth it.
  24. Don’t be too prideful to not listen when friends tell you the truth.
  25. Be the friend that tells the truth.
  26. Instead of having expectations & being disappointed when they’re not met, make it a point to tell people your expectations and give them a chance to meet them.
  27. Do not let your life be shrouded with fear. It’s much better to take a chance.
  28. Love must be sincere.
  29. Work harder than you thought you could, but rest in knowing your work means nothing when it comes to salvation.
  30. There is always something to learn, always beauty to discover, always somewhere to explore, so stay watchful and alert.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Tell them...

There is something about living life, about getting older, that makes the urgency or your words more important and the noticings of the good in those around you more meaningful.

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been seeing things about people and not being able to help myself tell them. The lady on the plane with the kindest eyes. The store clerk that has a great name. Making eye contact to say thank you and be sure the person understands how much you really appreciate them. Helping up a fallen child on the ice and telling the Mom what a nice son she has.

It seems like an old woman thing to do. Oh this. Oh that. A slight nod and a glint of a smile. Hands folded and away. It might not be much. It might not be loud. It might not be anything really...to you. But to the person to whom you speak, it might be just the thing that brightens their day, that reminds them they are seen...actually seen, it might be just the thing they have been asking God about and you, in the noticing, are sharing His answer with them.

In one week, I think I was told by three or four random strangers that I had a glow about me, that I had bright eyes, that there was some kind of joy they saw just as they walked through a coffee shop door and wanted to tell me they saw it. Who does that?! Well they did and now I want to too! Don't you? Wouldn't you want to be someone's blessing? Someone's reminder of Gods love over them? Wouldn't you want to be the person that recognizes in someone else what you hope others would recognize about you?

Maybe first we should start opening our eyes to see it in other people, and stop being afraid to tell them! Tell the lady she has beautiful eyes. Tell the bus driver he is very patient. Tell the clerk that she was generous and helpful. Tell them. He, our Lord and Savior tells you every day how much He loves you, so why don't we tell them? Let's start. Let's try.