This morning, I awoke to a tatting on my window, in the darkness it was a sharp reminder that the world continued to spin while I came in & out of sleep tangled with dreams. Stepping outside I stopped to savor the strong wind that circled around me, twirling my hair around itself & my chilled face. The wind, powerful & cold...refreshing & inviting. I stood there with my eyes closed, allowing the gusts to surround me, holding me tight, like a welcomed friend in the morning.
I don't know what it was about the wind this morning, something about the power & the brisk feeling that told me I was loved & that this next year would be different. The cold was not bitter, but an awakening that things will change & be renewed. It was an air that took my breath away in beauty & awe of the power that causes the wind...I was struck that yes, we are still here but that I am changing, just like the wind. God has put me in strong winds for a reason, to bring out his glory in my life...where the winds will blow I do not know, yet blow they must.
As I walked across the mostly barren lot towards a warm building, I waited, feeling once again the wind on my face, this time feeling it blow my hair back, away from my face & covering me with warmth that only a chill air can. Fresh air. Blunt awareness of the change coming. Clear skies that open to hope.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Recently, I felt a little guilty that I was gone for a week in a gorgeous country, with warm people & a very adventurous Mom, but had not had some “great revelation” about God or my relationship with Him. It was like…..why not? I should have at least heard SOMEthing, right? And to be honest, very little of my time was searching for a significant meaning or divine inspiration while enjoying the breathtaking beauty. This doubt & questioning in my mind was something I talked with my dad about, and as we spoke, it kinda nudged both of us that maybe God was simply allowing me to have a week of pure enjoyment & happiness. No deep thoughts to ponder, no hard truths to bear, no complex theologies to learn…just simply BE and enjoy. Simmer in the warmth of the country, soak up the dew filled air, stand up & feel the strong easterly wind blow across your face. Hear the goodness of nothing….no loud cars around, not many jabbering people, no looming buildings to hinder the view. Just BE. Enjoy the time with your mom, enjoy the time alone, enjoy the adventure of going into unadvertised locations to explore small rooms once in use for monks & kings alike. Laugh at the simplicity of life, and the castles you can see from a back door, or in a pasture. Be in awe of the vast space, left open for the imagination & unhindered beauty. Gaze down the cliffs to the crashing waves below & feel the spray of them on your face. Don’t do anything….don’t think anything….don’t try to analyze anything….just BE. Just enjoy. And don’t think of “just” being the same as the second or lesser option, but the first and most important choice…to JUST …..
at 1:45 PM