Friday, July 30, 2010


Standing on the precipice of something extraordinary....or maybe just new, I cannot help but feel anticipation and eagerness to move forward, to feel whatever this is that the Lord is moving around in my life. Big pieces are moving, and slowly things are taking shape.  I've been praying much the past few months of what does God have for me next.  I am "content" where I am, yet some of the situations that surround me make me uncomfortable, and yes I do realize that uncomfortableness can grow you....however this type of uncomfortable is the kind that can kill you. So. What is it God, what will it be? Where will it be? When will it be?

Looking forward, I cannot help but look back as well...I recently saw this verse at one of the 5 funerals I've attended in the last few weeks..."The memory of the righteous will be a blessing...." (Proverbs 10:7a).  What a blessing that I have been given through all of the people in my life & now who have passed on to the next.  One of my favorite kids books, tells the story of an old woman who refuses to name things that she knows she will outlive.  So the puppy that starts to visit her daily goes without a name until at one point he stops coming & she believes she has lost him forever. Through his visits, she has grown to love him...and when the dog pound guy asks what the lost puppy's name is, she thinks back over all her friends that she had outlived, and realized just how lucky she was, and decided then to name the dog "lucky".  As I look for what this new thing is that God is stirring, I want to bring the memories of the righteous people in my life with me...they will be in me and their memories will live through me, in whatever place I land.

Eleanor Roosevelt, in my mind one of the greatest inspirational women to ever live, said this..."The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."  That's what I'm trying to do.....reaching out to find whatever is out there, whatever God has that holds a rich newness to it. His redeeming & loving character will provide that, in his way.  Hm. How are we, am I, living that is tasting His will to the utmost, am I reaching out eagerly & without fear?  Will I remember the past with a blessed feeling?  I will, and I will try to take steps in faith to be one of those women who live without fear of the future, to be confident in the hope I have in Christ, and the boldness to follow wherever He may lead...seeing how He worked so vibrantly in the lives of my loved ones past, and fully trusting that He will do the same in me.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Total Restoration in Progress

This is my new life statement. Total restoration in progress. Think about this with me.  As I walked down the old & classic looking streets of downtown St. Paul, there's a place called the Coney Island Cafe. It says it opened in 1923, and now there is plastic sheets over the windows & dirt in the doorway. But a tiny little sign tells you that there is a "total restoration in progress".  When you peek into the windows, you can see the old bar stools, the juke box in the middle of the dining room, old booths made from dark wood...signs of a past that has been lived and worn down.  Signs that at one time this little shop was was made to be something, but has gotten dirty, old, been shut off from the outside & has lost life inside the walls.

As I walked away from the cloudy window, I pictured my own life like that little cafe.  Parts of my life have been dusty, abandoned, been shut off from the outside & lost life.  I thought about how many of us when going through difficult things will grow tired of visiting those places inside of us, and pretty soon they're closed for business, not something we easily remember, and not something any one would want to go back to.

But Christ, in his ever visioning perspective & will, sees that old place and sees the potential that is still held within.  He comes inside of that place, and puts up a sign "total restoration in progress".  Total....not one spot untouched, taking everything into the process.  Restoration.....taking all those parts, every single spec & restoring it to the original design, the original intent & vibrant life.  In ongoing process, active & not sedentary, forward moving towards a goal, a developing of sorts.

Isn't our life in Christ a "total restoration in progress"?  Will we ever reach a finished state until Christ says come home?  And how would we be totally restored if we do not allow him into every little nook & cranny of our being?

When you see a place that has been totally restored to it's original state, is it not a beautiful sight? Something you want to behold, take in, soak up, relish, applaud, appreciate & marvel at?  Are we not usually wanting to give recognition to the hard work that the restorer has accomplished? Do we not look at all the tiny details that the crafter took time to meticulously finish?  Why then would we not recognize the work that Christ would like to do in us, a more than fully capable master who knows the ins & outs of us better than we know ourselves.  Should we not then give him the keys to every part of us and especially the dark & dusty parts so that we can be fully restored to the life that Christ meant for us to live out?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Eggs & Toast

Today is my birthday. I'm 26. I'm now over the hump on my way to 50. haha. This morning I woke up to an overcast sky....something I love in the morning. My dad made me scrambled eggs, toast with apple butter, fresh cherries & strong coffee. It was great.  As I took probably my third bite of eggs though.....he said, "If mom was here, she'd make this really special for you." Obviously I lost it.

It's now 10 o'clock & I've been crying off & on since 7. What is it about those little things, simply having a little breakfast of eggs & toast that gives you thoughts of your mom?  He was right, and suddenly those eggs & toast didn't taste as good...they weren't something I really wanted because all I really wanted was to have my mom here.  This is the first birthday I've ever spent without her.  Even when I celebrated my 20th birthday in NYC, my family flew out to visit me.  When I had a birthday on tour in Missouri, my sweet 16, my parents drove down to celebrate with me.

Birthdays are always big days. I like to make them special for other people, and I always want to do something big for my own simply because it's a great excuse to do something extraordinary.  Here are some extraordinary things I've learned this year......You can always expect the unexpected, People mean much more than possessions, Miracles do still happen, Spur of the moment is usually more fun than something long awaited, When all doors seem closed look up because there might be a skylight, Sunsets over the ocean are meant to be enjoyed on land, Don't think things are always too good to be true, Dare to love and have courage to hurt, Do not settle, and Appreciate any opportunity that comes your way.

This is just my morning birthday thought. I've other more "spiritual" things that I'll write about later.  Enjoy the day!