God Size

The last few months here have been crazy.  Literally speaking, they've been such a whirlwind, that every time I've even thought of writing, I'll forget about 10 minutes later because I'm on to something different.  But tonight, I felt like I had to write....there's too much to say all in one post, but this message keeps coming through different ways, and so it must be something that is important.  So here goes.

Have you ever been faced with something where you thought, "how am I supposed to pray for this!?"...you battle within yourself whether you should pray for a miracle, or not, because you "know" that it won't happen probably and that whatever it is in front of you will just turn out the way things "normally" turn out, whether that be good or bad, but either way you pray it's not really going to be different.  Have you been there?  I have, and I'm sure some of you have too.  You're like....you trust in God, but really when the odds look so grim you just don't know if you should pray that God will perform a miracle or if you should just accept the fate & pray for God to give peace.

Well.....here's a question for you: How well do you know God?

Really, how well do you KNOW Him?  The earth is finite, right?  Meaning there's only limited outcomes, options, possibilities, etc.  But God is NOT.  He created the earth, so He doesn't live within the confines of our existence, He lives in the freedom of His!  So when we pray, are we underestimating the power of God by not even asking for something bigger than we could even imagine?

This spring, things were going along just "normal" until one day I went to work & they told me that I was being laid off.  Oddly enough, I wasn't devastated.  Honestly I'd been having a conversation with God about what was next....I wasn't sure that where I was then was where He would always want me to be...so when I heard that I would be leaving in a month, it was a little bit of an "okay God, now what..." moment.  Financially I was okay for a little while, so I decided that since I had so many things planned for the summer, I would wait on God for just the right thing, and not pursue another position until the middle of August.

At the beginning of July, I visited my dad in TX, and finished a book called "Sacred Waiting" by David Timms.  It seemed that book was perfectly timed, by hitting on my period of waiting that had just been semi-imposed upon me by getting laid off.  I went back to MN to prepare for an art show before heading out on another vacation with some friends (which is another story all in itself) and two days before I left I got a strange call.  It was one of my old supervisors, from the job I had just left.  He said that his wife had met a guy at a concert, and that through random conversation, he mentioned they were looking for someone like me and so she mentioned my name and now that guy was trying to get in touch with me about a job.  That morning, I researched the organization, called & left a message and two hours later got a call back. They wanted me to come in for an interview 2 hours later.  Here's the scenario: I'm in my PJ's at 1pm, I don't have a current resume, don't have a printer if I DID have a current resume, wasn't sure that I had any clean business clothes to wear and was then living an hour away from the office....so naturally I said "of course I can make it by 3pm". lol.  I stood in line behind three 10 year old girls at the public library to print off my resume, and barely made it in.

To make the rest of the story short, I was offered the job the next day.  It was outstanding.  I feel so blessed, and I know that this kind of thing does NOT happen that often, but it was like....God was reminding me that He does things in HIS timing and way, not necessarily ours.  So this weekend, we're hosting an event, hoping to draw in 5,500 people! We'll be sharing the gospel and feature some great musicians!  And through the planning, I've been nervous, wondering how it'll all turn out, what will happen, who will come, etc.  And sitting here tonight, being reminded of God's miraculous power through the book of John, I'm finding peace knowing that God's got it.

He's greater than anything we can imagine, and so He's capable of doing more than we can imagine.  We just need to stop underestimating Him and closing doors where He wants to show us His miracles!  Where does God want to do a miracle in your life, or challenge you to trust in Him more?  As you think on that, also remember us this Saturday in prayer.  Pray that people will pack the house, pray that people will respond to the gospel, pray that the Lord would do something that we could have never imagined!  Hallelujah!

(If you want to watch our concert streaming live, tune in Saturday at 7pm Central at: http://livestre.am/16gGw)  

Branches & Vines

This past weekend I did a lot of cleaning.  Inside my house as well as some inside my soul.  While emptying out a book closet, I came across an old journal that my great grandmother had written, telling a bit of her story of marriage, grief, hardships & the faithfulness of God throughout each moment.  It was a precious reminder of how the Lord is faithful throughout the generations.  How blessed I felt to know that He was working so many years ago, while forming the foundation that I would grow into through this family.

On Sunday, I visited the church that I had read about in her writing, that my family had been diligent to help begin.  The worship felt new this time.  Knowing a part of the history of how these settlers, new & shocked by the un-true tellings of the reality that would face them on the land that awaited them.  Their hearts were on giving the next generation a hope & future....even if that meant really hard work & struggles.  Even if that meant starting your own church because faith in God was that important.  Even if that meant losing many dreams you had for yourself so that dreams your children dreamt could come true.

At the church though, the sermon was about the Vine & Branches section of John 15.  I normally really appreciate this verse, but as I had been going through a lot of things that were left after my mother passed away, I was saddened because it was like....well, I understand that God would cut off branches that weren't producing fruit, but what about those that WERE producing fruit?  Why would he cut those off early?  Thankfully, when these thoughts were mumbling through my little brain, they were caught by the next phrase the pastor spoke....about God pruning the branches that were producing fruit because by doing that sometimes the fruit other branches produce will grow larger & that the quality of the fruit might become better.

This made me wonder about my life right now, and those lives of my siblings & friends.  People who we've known, outstanding characters & faithful to the Lord, those people who were cut off from life seemingly too early to understand.  It hurt, and still does many days, but it seems like this verse would flow with this course of pruning.  Somethings that I've done this year, never would have been done had my mother been around.  Other things I've seen my friends/siblings do would never have happened if their friends or family had been around....it doesn't make it feel better that they're not here to see these amazing things forming in us, but knowing that somehow their leaving earth spurred a new life inside of us is inspiring.

I don't know what my whole thought here really comes to, but maybe just knowing that God prunes fruitful branches sometimes to bear bigger fruits on the branches that are left, makes me wonder....what kind of fruit does he see as possible out of our lives?  What will be coming through the pruning?  It doesn't always feel good to be pruned, but then again who are we as branches to tell the Gardener which branches He should prune?  He knows best, for "...He who promised is faithful." (Romans 10:23)

Dressed in Striped Pajamas

Tonight I was sick....slightly, but feeling not quite myself just the same.  I knew I wanted to blog tonight, since much has been floating around my mind, but it wasn't until just this moment that I really knew what I wanted to say.


This month I'm going on a journey of prayer journaling....and before I began writing tonight, I wanted to "relax" and watch a movie. Well I chose the movie "Boy in Striped Pajama's".  If you've seen it, you know that it leaves you feeling very sad, sad for the world, for the boy, for the times when we just don't know any better.... and it makes me want to pray.


"Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." (Psalm 62:8) If you know anything about the holocaust, you know that there were many, many people who cried out to God, seeking His help, protection, wisdom & mercy. God wants us to do this, to pour out our hearts to him when we are scared, ashamed, unsure & hurting.  He will protect us, though sometimes He protects our hearts & souls over our earthly bodies.

We know this is true, that God desires to hold us in his Hands, and that He will answer us and come to us because of what Christ testified by his mouth..."'Then Jesus said to them, “Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.’ And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.  So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.  Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”'

And yet, sometimes we have to walk through horrendous situations.  The people of the holocaust were thrust into something they had little to no control over, they were tortured, beaten, starved, mocked and killed for just daring to live as people that Christ created them to be.  Many of them lost hope, feeling abandoned....but still there were some, like Corrie Ten Boom who saw her situation in the prison camps, as a time that she could tell others about God & his mercy. She understood what is written about in 2 Corinthians 2:14 where it says "But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ's triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere."  She, being lead as a captive into a place shrouded by death, held to her faith and overcame the smell of flesh with the fragrance of everlasting life.  ..... A faith like that deserves pause. ..... A faith like that, is one to make you wonder about the God who calls a witness like her out...He is a mighty God, a faithful God, an everlasting God.

Finally, as we seek him, praise him, confess our fears and hopes to him, we will see...maybe not today, but one day we will see...what His glorious plans for our lives will be.  It is then and on our journey to that end, that we can joyfully sing with David through Psalms 30:11-12, "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever." Amen.

Sunrise to Sunset

I am the LORD, and there is no other;
   apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
   though you have not acknowledged me,
⁶ so that from the rising of the sun
   to the place of its setting
people may know there is none besides me.
   I am the LORD, and there is no other. --Isaiah 45:5-6

 

This morning, as I do many mornings, I watched the sunrise develop into something exquisite over the frozen lake.  It shone bright orange, purple & blue streaks which each contrasted with the others so vibrantly.  I'm not sure why, but watching a sunrise or sunset like the one this morning always reminds me of God's faithfulness. It's like he's there, trying to remind us that from beginning to end, He is there. He will be faithful.  Though the day might bring hardship, toil & pain, He remains. He draws us towards him, to find beauty within his  creation, to find beauty within the day He has created for us. He wants us to know that He is bigger than whatever is out there, whatever we go through, whatever we face....He is with us.  He is in the dark, in the light, in the wind and in the calm. He is there and will always be pursuing us to bring us towards His loving arms.  The colors of this sunset are like the many facets of God's character. He is both loving, just, compassionate, holy, gentle & yet we should fear Him.  Oh how all those facets and colors come together to form such a wonderful picture of who God is, and that we can be reminded of it every morning and every evening....that God is faithful.  

A Christmas Hope

This past week, my Papa & I were asked to sing Christmas carols at a local assisted living home.  We accepted the invitation, and began to choose songs that we wanted to share.  He would play the mandolin, and we would both sing.  We thought how nice it would be to have my younger brother play his guitar with us, and thought he probably wouldn't want to but we asked anyway.  You see, because my mom was such a support to Tyler & his music, he hasn't really wanted to pick up his guitar since she passed away.  It was an absolutely delightful shock to me to hear that he wanted to play with us!  I was so happy!

We stood up in front of the older crowd of residents, barely having practiced singing together except for the five minutes prior, and began to sing.  My dad would tie in meanings of Christmas and thoughts from the carols we'd sing.  During one of the first songs, we sang something about the angels singing with us, or seeing us from afar.  At that moment, I imagined my mom crying in heaven, not with sadness but with delight, to see the three of us together, singing & playing music together.  I thought about how happy she would have been to hear us all together, and how pleased she would be that we didn't pass on singing.

This all led to another thought....one of hope.  I wanted to have my mom with me so quick right then, pinching back tears that screamed to be set free from the confines of my eyes.  Yet in that same instant, the hope arose that I will see her again soon, and it is because of the birth that we were singing about that I could have that hope.  It was a future hope of a fulfilled promise.  A promise God revealed many thousands of years ago, that was brought to fulfillment through the birth of Christ.

Through the Spirit, Mary a humble girl said "yes" to doing God's will, for waiting on Him to provide a miracle through her.  An unsettling situation to be sure, she waited with hope that God would be true to His word once again.  When Jesus was born a joy filled her & spilled out to each of us through the Son. We can have joy in the hope that His birth proclaims.  There is now a way for us to be joined to the Father.  What a thing to celebrate, what an act of love, bringing joyful hope to a people stirred with unrest.

His birth brought love to the world, joy to the heart, hope to the mind and peace to our soul.  Though some days we all feel unloved, discouraged, defeated & distressed, we can know that God LOVES us, and because of that love we can find JOY because God gave PEACE to our tormented souls, which reminds us of the HOPE that Christ's birth brings.  So this Christmas, let's celebrate, I mean REALLY celebrate, not only the birth of Christ, but everything that His birth represents!

Aged Cheese

A week ago, my dad brought home some sharp cheddar cheese, one of his favorites...this particular cheese though was a bit more special than normal because it was 12 year-old aged cheddar....that's pretty old cheese I thought.  And cool too, just because I think stuff like that is cool, for no reason.

Okay, now I'm 26 years old, and that cheese is 12 years old, that means that when I was 14, someone decided to put this cheese away & wait 12 years to serve it.  For 12 years that cheese sat there, wherever that may be, waiting for just the right moment to come out & be served.  Had it only sat for a few years, it probably still would have been good, but have you ever eaten 12 year-old aged cheddar? It's amazing...it's good, it has a unique taste, etc. etc. Ha. I'm not really THAT crazy about cheese, but you gotta think about this in this other way...think about us as cheese.  Laughing yet? Just hold on....

Psalm 139:13 & 16 says "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb....Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  This is amazing if you think about it, because God knew us, knew our every step & all about us before we even existed.  Wow. That tells me that over 26 years ago, God knew that I would be typing this blog, where I'd be & that there must be a purpose to my life...to each of our lives!

Like a fine wine or a fine cheese, as we enter into the family of God, even before we entered the family of God, we were set aside for a purpose, we have been given a story, we have reason to live.  Isn't that interesting though? To think of ourselves as in this waiting position, waiting to be taken off the shelf for God to use us?  I don't think He is completely passive though, at some point this analogy breaks down because I think we're used here & there throughout our lives, but as it says in Ecclesiastes 3:1, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."  I wonder if that means that we won't die until God has fulfilled in us the purpose He has created us for.  It is not until that point that we will finally see the Glory of God fulfilled & complete.

Just thoughts.  It makes me appreciate the cheese a lot more though...:) Hope you can see it differently too.  You are special, you're made with a purpose, you are loved, you are meant for something and no one can take away that meaning from you. You are God's child, designed intentionally to be who God purposed, to bring Glory to Him & reconcile you to Him in due time. Amen!!

A little something

I just found the following, hidden away in my documents folder....not sure when I wrote it, but I wanted to share it with you today.

Like little seeds planted in the ground, the seed must die for a new plant to grow! It's like us....when we were ignorant to the grace of God, we lived for ourselves & though we may have done "good" in the eyes of the world, ultimately there was no purpose, no end goal that we could strive for, except for pleasure in ourselves & our works. Now, through the ultimate sacrifice of God's death & divine miracle of His resurrection, we have a hope of something else. We have something to live for, someone who died for us, and now we can live a new life, dedicated to honoring Him for the gift he's given us....freedom, forgiveness, faithfulness, fullness of life, a fearless way to live.

I want my earthly inheritance to be spent before it's stockpiled...I hope to give it away, and to bless those who may never be encouraged to take a step of faith into a life they never dreamed of.  In Psalms 68, it talks about putting the lonely in families. Well, I've been given a family, but others have not. They are the lonely, and they can be part of our family...my family...God's family. The love, care & provision that I have been blessed with all my life, can be someone else's if you or I care enough to share it with them. Sharing not only the practical things like food, shelter, & water, but God's blessings of love, acceptance, forgiveness & encouragement.

Wherever I go, whoever I become, this is the person I want to be: I want to be someone who serves others, who cares about the people who are rejected from society, who is involved with missions, who goes wherever I’m needed so I can meet a need, someone who seeks God first, who is unashamedly Christian, who gives all that I am to love on people, & listening at all times.

Anticipation

Standing on the precipice of something extraordinary....or maybe just new, I cannot help but feel anticipation and eagerness to move forward, to feel whatever this is that the Lord is moving around in my life. Big pieces are moving, and slowly things are taking shape.  I've been praying much the past few months of what does God have for me next.  I am "content" where I am, yet some of the situations that surround me make me uncomfortable, and yes I do realize that uncomfortableness can grow you....however this type of uncomfortable is the kind that can kill you. So. What is it God, what will it be? Where will it be? When will it be?

Looking forward, I cannot help but look back as well...I recently saw this verse at one of the 5 funerals I've attended in the last few weeks..."The memory of the righteous will be a blessing...." (Proverbs 10:7a).  What a blessing that I have been given through all of the people in my life & now who have passed on to the next.  One of my favorite kids books, tells the story of an old woman who refuses to name things that she knows she will outlive.  So the puppy that starts to visit her daily goes without a name until at one point he stops coming & she believes she has lost him forever. Through his visits, she has grown to love him...and when the dog pound guy asks what the lost puppy's name is, she thinks back over all her friends that she had outlived, and realized just how lucky she was, and decided then to name the dog "lucky".  As I look for what this new thing is that God is stirring, I want to bring the memories of the righteous people in my life with me...they will be in me and their memories will live through me, in whatever place I land.

Eleanor Roosevelt, in my mind one of the greatest inspirational women to ever live, said this..."The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."  That's what I'm trying to do.....reaching out to find whatever is out there, whatever God has that holds a rich newness to it. His redeeming & loving character will provide that, in his way.  Hm. How are we, am I, living that is tasting His will to the utmost, am I reaching out eagerly & without fear?  Will I remember the past with a blessed feeling?  I will, and I will try to take steps in faith to be one of those women who live without fear of the future, to be confident in the hope I have in Christ, and the boldness to follow wherever He may lead...seeing how He worked so vibrantly in the lives of my loved ones past, and fully trusting that He will do the same in me.

Never stop waiting for God

Well how do I begin to tell you just how amazed I am each day that I am alive, at the miraculous & strange ways in which our God works?  Most days it's mundane, some days slightly boring. But occasionally, and more often than I would admit to enjoy, I get an unusual & exciting adventure.  The last few days has been an occasion of that sort.

In the middle of a weekend night, I was startled with a call that my home had been broken into. Despite my prayers, my computer & external hard drives were stolen.  To some, this would merely mean a few lost papers, maybe some pictures or your running music.  To me....it was all the photos from my travels, the family pictures of my now lost mother, the memories of clients' babies & vows. The horror devastated me.  It was ironic in the ways that I had been telling people how my neighborhood was "just fine," and how I had just read about how in David's painful or frightened waiting he found ways to praise God.

I sat stunned, lost, robbed & unsure of the future. The Lord reminded me to trust Him & not in the things I had lost. It was an understood message, one I "knew" but didn't enjoy knowing.  But still, the praise was needed to Him.....so I thanked Him for keeping Lisa & I away from home that night because we were SAFE, I thanked Him for clean robbers because our home wasn't TRASHED, I thanked Him for grace because my clients were FORGIVING. All these things to be thankful for. Yes, I was angry at what had been done, but thankful for God's protection....I still had a home to sleep in.

My friends at church prayed for me. I'm sure many people did. For protection still, and also that something would turn up. Monday was the worst. It hit me that I would never see those photos again, that someone had been in my house, taken valuables from me, probably sold them, had probably watched me for a while & might be back. The Bible study I'm in helped to take away those thoughts that evening though.....through prayer & some late night fellowship I celebrated the people who surrounded me & the God who provided them.

Monday evening, my brother came back to my house so I did not have to be alone. He let me log-in online with his computer (since mine obviously was "out of service"). Trying to get online I realized that the thieves had also stolen my router. Dumb. I figured it out though, and went to Facebook to update some folks.  Right away, I saw that I had a friend request & an email from the same person who was unknown to me.  Opening the email, my disbelief was stretched.  A man told me that he had purchased a computer that weekend, and after he opened it up & looked around, he noticed that the "brand new" computer he bought was really some one else's....mine. He had found my computer! But the best was yet to come--he wanted to GIVE IT BACK!

Wait....what? Give it back? No questions asked?  He said he understood what it felt like to have things taken, and that he wanted me to have it back.  Tonight....I sit here, writing this story, as I sit in front of my previously stolen computer.

The last few months, the ponderings of what God requires of us....of me....has been on my mind.  And this story cannot hide the fact that this is God's love lived out in action.  This guy, innocently bought a computer, discovered there was something wrong and gave it back, without expecting anything in return, trusting God that this is what He would require of him. I think this is SUCH an awesome example.  Trusting in God, waiting on Him to provide, to protect, to restore & to renew a hope in His awesome love.

My life never ceases to amaze me....and neither does my God.

Deserving?

In a conversation this week, talking about the horrible happenings weaved throughout this persons life, the question was posed "what did I do to deserve this life?"  The thought was chilling, and unsettling. I don't know that we really deserve any of it....any of the good or any of the bad.  For what really could we do to deserve anything good in this life, and what could we do that would warrant such hard events? I know that if we really get spiritual here, there are probably very legitimate answers for these questions.....sin in the world causes us bad things in our life...or doing good for others often will allow us to reap plentiful benefits.
But in the simplicity of this question, ....I remembered a story in my past.  I once had a wonderful band teacher. He always chose great music & taught us well.  One particular choice of song, had a particularly difficult timpani piece.  This he chose to give to me. The other parts he let the other percussionists choose for themselves, but for the timpani, he chose me to play.  Just looking at the piece someone would understand this was not going to be easy.  It had multiple tone changes, varying degrees of intensity within short measures, odd rhythms, parts where I was the only player amidst the entire band, & so on.  I questioned his choice, pleading that I was not able to do this piece and that he should choose someone more capable.  He insisted, and would hear none of my protest.

So I practiced, and I practiced, and I practiced, I screwed up & I practiced some more. Finally I was OK with the piece....just OK. And when it came to the concert, I stood & played...I was not perfect, but I was alright. I did better than I thought I would, that's for sure.  Later, I asked my instructor once more....why did you choose to give me such a difficult piece? Surely someone else could have done it better. To this he replied, "I knew you would have to work at it, but I wanted to see you try..." (this next part is what really got me) "...I chose it for you not because you were the best, but because I wanted you to see what you were capable of."

In many ways, I see this situation as something similar if I now asked God why I deserved this life & the situations that fall into my way....He allows them to come not because I've done something to deserve them necessarily, but because he wants me to understand what I'm capable of overcoming when I trust Him.

Moving Mountains

Once in a while, you'll get a glimpse of something spectacular....of something new & unrealized, something fresh & intriguing.  Sometimes those glimpses will come from the most unlikely places.

I watched this little girl with her father in the park.  They were lying there, looking at the city, through the trees...she laid there in the grass quickly switching her hand to cover one eye, then the next, then the first eye again. She laughed with delight at she told her father "I can make the whole city move! It looks like the buildings are dancing!" Back & forth she would look once more as the city was moved from the east to the west and back again.  Her dad looked over to her and simply replied "It all has to do with perspective."

And at that moment I thought about the passage that says "...if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20) I thought about how faith has to do a lot with your perspective.....your perspective of God and of how much you can trust him.  It has to do with what you think God can do. Even how you think God can work through a seemingly difficult situation.  Do we really trust that God will use us no matter where we go? Do we really think He could bring good out of war? Do I really believe God will use Leukemia to touch people? It all has to do with perspective.

It's not physically moving a mountain from here to there, it's seeing the mountain the way God might see it. As an opportunity to overcome, rather than an obstacle that can defeat you. A mountain for us might be a hard work environment, or an impossible dream, or an un-lovable neighbor. We are all capable of moving mountains, simply by having a perspective other than our own....a perspective rather, that comes from Christ. We can see the un-lovable neighbor as a hurting soul that could really use a glimpse of kindness. We can see that our impossible dream is no longer impossible if we start from another angle. We can see that a hard work environment can be an opportunity to show a heavenly amount of patience & grace.

Makes sense to me that we are moving mountains every day....if only we have faith to see through God's perspective...from east to west, here to there, from mind to heart...it's possible.

Miracle Worker

The sky today seems teary eyed...welling up with tears that may never come. My tears are the same some days....they are there, but do not break free from the comfort within my eyes.  Tears can be hot with anger, cold with grief, salty with sadness, or refreshing with joy. ....and the ones that come today are the kind that fill emptiness with gratefulness.

Last week, there was fear....this week God came near. My mom was in the hospital, waiting for another result to come back...and was expecting the now normal response of "it didn't work....we'll try again." Needless to say this is a frustrating & often crushing blow that sets my whole family back into questioning what will be next. The doctors were not pleased, and told my mom this. Why, I don't know...but they were predicting, and wanted to prepare her for what was inevitable. Anyway, the doctor came into the room last Monday (the morning after 40 of us had prayed & cried out to God for her healing), and said "This is unexplainable....but your blast numbers are down to 3%....this shouldn't have happened according to your last results.....I don't understand it. We'll be sending it back to Mayo to double check." We all felt that we had witnessed a miracle....3% blasts means she's technically in remission! And after the double-check, the numbers were proved correct. What a praise!  The prayer now, is that the 3% blasts stays there, and her white blood count will climb to normal levels....join us in this prayer, please!

The week before, there was also an unexplainable incident. Because of the seemingly constant hospital stays that my mom has endured, my dad has also had to endure phone calls from hospitals & such, to pay the overwhelming six-digit bills that keep coming. His responsibility had added up to about $47,000.  He also had received another phone message, telling him to call the hospital about that bill, right away. Well, he started to pray & cry out to God. There is no way that our family will be able to pay this amount, and we need help to make this happen. It's enough to worry about your mother/wife in the hospital, without having to wonder where the money will come from to keep her in good health. So after an evening of sleeping & praying through his concern, he somewhat hesitatingly called the hospital. When the man answered the phone & confirmed the amount owed, the man then simply stated "Okay, we just took care of that."

Yep. All $47,000.....done, paid for, wiped off the tab.

All I can say, is that God is definitely a miracle worker. I've seen it this week, and I've seen it all through my life. The miracles don't come every time we want them, or when we would expect them....they come in His good timing, in his pleasure, to give us pleasure, and to show us His power & glory. He is Good. Very good. Just thought I'd share.

A Story Worth Living

We all have stories....some are comedies, some are tragedies, some are romantic & some are just plain stale. Wherever your story fits on this grid...it fits...somewhere, because we all are living a story.  But what is making your story great? Are you inviting people to live out that story with you? Are you drowning in character development with a character that never does anything? Are you frustrated that your climax scenes never get the "aha" resolution like in the movies? Are you intrigued by the chapters, enough that you keep wanting to go further & further into the story?

I've been thinking a lot about story. I'm pretty sure I've already blogged on this somewhat, but it's in my mind again. Listening to music like Grace Potter, and her sweet crooning of "are we falling or flying"....a lot of this has to do with perspective...but your perspective is shaped by your story, right? somewhat?

In Ezra, he is a scribe that writes the Jews' story of coming back to the homeland & rebuilding their temple after so many years in captivity. What a story!  The captors release a certain amount of captives to go home & rebuild a temple, that has so much importance to them. It's pretty amazing to me that the captors did that....and it's also pretty amazing how the people wanted the temple rebuilt so bad, that obviously they weren't just sitting around in captivity going along day to day....they wanted that temple, and they wanted it bad!  I don't think it was really so much about the "temple" as it was about wanting a place to worship the one true God....but giving Him a place to reside was important for the Jews. They took steps to push for this goal, made pleas, petitions, spoke to apparently the right people, and when they got the chance, they took it!  The set to work right away, and praised God while fasting on their trek back to Jerusalem.  Amazing. They made their story a glorious one....not one of defeat.

It's about going after something, and not being afraid to face obstacles along the way. It's about trusting that God has quite the story to tell through you, and not just sitting around waiting for it to happen. How many stories have you read where all the main character does is think & sit on the couch?? (Okay....I've honestly read one like this, and it was the most pointless, aggravating, frustrating book I've read....I kept waiting for something to happen, and when it ended & nothing HAD happened, I wanted to die.) Alright, so....you get what I'm saying?

This is getting long, so I'll wrap up.....and maybe I'll make a Part 2 to this particular topic.....but what kind of story are you living?

My friend was inspirational, she challenged me to do things I'd never done before. I wanted something bigger than what I'd ever thought possible....when she died, that dream of mine got cloudy.  But then...what I wanted was to honor her inspirational life. Many of us did. We set a goal, and figured out all the things we needed to do to get there. We invited people into our story (which makes it hard to give up)...and last summer, hosted a 6k to allow kids the chance to go to a summer camp....kids whose parents are imprisoned & would never have been able to go otherwise. It's a small story, but it IS a story.  It's continuing, and it's exciting!

What kind of stories are you making?? Share them with me!

Bunches of Goodness

This morning, I'm sitting here, jumping for joy on the inside, bursting with something. It's like...the last few days have been SO good, SO much better than previous ones. Yet what I know to be true is that despite the amazing things that have been happening around me & the fun things I've been doing, it's not THAT that is supplying my energy. It is the in-explainable joy that comes from knowing that my future & freedom is all in God's hands.

Paul prayed that this would happen for us, "so that Christ may dwell in (our) hearts through faith. And (he) prayed that (we) being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide & long & high & deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that (we) may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." --Ephesians 3:17-19

...and we know that this prayer would be answered because "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful & effective." --James 5:16b It is effective, and felt beyond the realm of time. How would Paul know that we would need this prayer so much? He helps us to realize that the power of the Holy Spirit will meet us where we are through those who pray for us when he writes in 2 Corinthians 9:14, "and in their prayers for you, their heart will go out to you because of the surpassing grace God has given you."

God is answering their prayer, and giving us a bold & fresh faith. One that is not easily overcome. Still, knowing that we have this power through Him, we must hear him & open the doors to our heart, so that we can be cleansed & prepared to defend our faith to those who come with questions & challenge us. "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect," --1 Peter 3:15

We can be confident that the prayers of the righteous will be fulfilled by God, & that we can walk in that confidence because we "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." --Deuteronomy 7:9

Walk in boldness, gather all the confident joy you can muster from the bunches of ways that God pours out his goodness through his Grace, as answers to the prayers of many and rejoice in Him.

Grasshoppers

We are not grasshoppers.

Maybe you think you are, but you’re not. I’m not just being silly….Keep reading.

Numbers 13 tells the story of the 12 spies scouting out the land that God had given to the Hebrews. They spent 40 days exploring the land, and at the end they came back with a report. Two of the spies (Caleb & Joshua) said “We should go up & take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.” That’s a good encouraging report! Unfortunately, there were 10 other spies that replied “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are….The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size….We seemed like GRASSHOPPERS in our OWN eyes, and we looked the same to them.” The second report wasn’t so encouraging….it was rather deflating & discouraging.

Who really would want to do something like that, where your good friends & knowledgeable people came to tell you how little chance you’d have of accomplishment? I probably wouldn’t have wanted to go either…..but then again, who knows. I just heard a sermon on this passage, and it shocked me too to hear that they said how they “seemed like grasshoppers” in their OWN eyes. They had a view of themselves as little bugs…little annoying bugs that men can easily squash. Grasshoppers don’t have a lot of power…but they do seem to “whine” a lot, which is why I know we can crush them.

But what did Caleb & Joshua see that made them think so differently? They knew the power that they had with them. It was the power of the Holy Spirit, not their own power that they put trust in. I think the others must have known they had the Holy Spirit too, but didn’t trust in the POWER of it in them. The Holy Spirit’s power is in each of us who put our trust in God, and who truly believe that He is the One True God that saves us from our sinfulness. It is very easy to be discouraged when those around us, even people who love us, say… “you can’t do that,” or “I don’t know that that would be the best choice,” or “is that really where you think God is calling you?” You second guess yourself, and if you’re not completely confident in the power of the Lord, often you will give up that dream or desire.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (2 Tim. 1:7). We are each given the Holy Spirit, with the same power…missionaries in foreign lands don’t have a special power, pastors don’t have a special power…we ALL have this power & can overcome the things of this world that fight against us in the spiritual realms. Luke 10:19 reminds us of the authority we’ve been given….”I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions (two terms used to describe evil spirits visible in people of that day)…and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.” Wow. That sounds powerful. AND WE HAVE THAT IN US! Right now! Wherever you are!

So why are we so afraid to step out in faith & do the things we know God wants us to do? Why are we so afraid to say what we want to say about our commitment to Christ? Why? Have you thought about it? Use that authority to overcome the words of other people, of the beliefs you hear, and to overcome even the words you put in your own mind to discourage you. You are given power through the Holy Spirit to go into the world & change lives…to set captives free! Be FREE in Christ, not captives in the world.

So remember the grasshopper….yes, you are small like him, and yes, we probably all whine like him too. BUT we are not able to be crushed like him.

Some of the Greatest People

These past few weeks, various conversations have been brought up in different circles, just about people of real substance, people who really stand up for conviction & have charisma like not so many in this world. It make me think about all the people I've known who've been like that. I don't think everyone knows people who are outstanding characters like this, but I've known quite a few!

Here are a few of the people I've been blessed to have in my life: My Grandpa & Grandma...both of them were so stinking cool. My grandpa had unwavering faith, and a quiet wisdom that came out when you needed it, and was witty at just the right times. My grandma was a bit more feisty, but when times were tough she always told me how we just need to trust in God. My great Aunt Helen, though her memory is now failing, is someone who for the most part I'd like to be like. When I was little, I'd stand in awe at her china cabinet full of trinkets from her travels all over the world. She was a photographer, a traveler, an adventurer & was stubborn. Ha. She never had children of her own, but always made us feel special whenever we'd visit.

Some of my friends have shown me how to stand up against discrimination, for doctrine, with dignity, and through death. These are the people you want to speak into your life, the ones who apologetically live out a real faith, fully relying on God & open enough to share when they haven't. Strong enough to admit defeat & humble enough to recognize others' victories. If I could make one thing certain for you, it would be salvation, if I could ask for another, it'd be that you have someone to admire as a real life liver of the gospel & faith.

I hope that one day I can be that to someone. And may you too one day be in someone's "greatest people" list!

A life in the morning

Driving into work this morning, I watched as the beaming red sun woke the world from behind the edge of the earth. It shone so bright and crisp. The way it hit all the trees, the homes & sparkled off the lake made everything look brand new. All being kissed for the first time, all over again. Each morning, this happens. It's a new day, a new beginning. If you watch, you can see the trees speak it, in the way they reflect the light, peeking through the leaves & down their branches. The grass stands in attention waiting to be brought into the warmth.

It occurred to me how every day, we see these things as new, fresh, with a brand new perspective from the day before. Each day, we learn, we live, we experience, we grow...and each day, we awake new, fresh, changed somehow yet still the same. We are the same people, just like the trees are the same trees day to day, yet each morning we see them in the sun & they look new.

It made me wonder how I can take the things I do day to day, and see the new perspective Christ can bring. He's like the sun in the mornings, creating such beautiful light that things look new & fresh....he can renew our mind like that and bring us to a peaceful start of the day, looking at things with his grand & divine perspective.

What will tomorrow bring? The night air sags, it hangs pensive...just waiting to be cleared, to be pushed away & the freedom of morning to bring redemption to the day. Will you be there? Will you wait for the morning? Will you live your life in the morning & not in the shadows? Pray that God will bring this new day, bursting forth with radiance.....not only in the sky, but in our hearts.

Resurected

Resurrection...Baptism....repentance. Wow...today, I was really hit by a few things. 1. How fun family can be, especially when you are learning funny new things about each other, and are okay to be embarrassed around them. 2. Pineapple stuffing is too amazing for words...but when you eat so much you can't speak, it's probably too much. 3. Jesus isn't the only one who is resurrected today....we all are, or can be with Him!

I was driving to church this morning, half scared to go in because of the lilies, but as I drove, I listened to a song about resurrection, and about life....and as I drove it reminded me of how we all as people, have to die in order to live. To be resurrected, as it were, to have a new life in Christ. The old goes away...we throw it off, are buried & drowned...and the new comes in, we're renewed & harvested. How wonderful it is, to know that we are no longer the person we used to be, but have a new beginning, a clean slate, a fresh start. Like little seeds planted in the ground, the seed must die for a new plant to grow! It's like us....when we were ignorant to the grace of God, we lived for ourselves & though we may have done "good" in the eyes of the world, ultimately there was no purpose, no end goal that we could strive for, except for pleasure in ourselves & our works. Now, through the ultimate sacrifice of God's death & divine miracle of His resurrection, we have a hope of something else. We have something to live for, some one who died for us, and now we can live a new life, dedicated to honoring Him for the gift he's given us....freedom, forgiveness, faithfulness, fullness of life, a fearless way to live.

Part of this also, got me when I saw this old couple driving past me on the road. I looked at them & smiled. How sweet are they, I thought, driving probably to a daughter or son's home for Easter. Probably going to see grand-kids & maybe great grandchildren too. I thought immediately about my own grandma, that wouldn't be with us today. I started to cry, and then in my missing her, I rejoiced. She was celebrating Christ's resurrection, with the Living God Himself!! She saw it complete circle, seeing it as we here on earth can only try to comprehend. She KNOWS the Living God, face to face, as we can, but even more so....she sees him fully, complete, ...what that must be like, to know the power of resurrection in a complete way like she is right now, living a new life, not something we know, but better & fuller & made more alive than she ever was before she died.

I miss my grandma so much....and I know that the disciples missed their friend so much too, but how great is it that we can have hope of seeing them again, in our resurrected bodies, with the resurrected Lord?

Our eyes are on You

We know not what to do, but our eyes are on you." (2 Chronicles 20:12) It's true, do we really know what we're doing?  What is this mission we're on?  Keep our eyes on Jesus. When we don't know what to do, where are we supposed to look?  To HIM.  The author & perfecter of our life.  

Many times, things come into our life, and we count them as coincidence.  We ask why they happened, or blow them off like it doesn't mean anything....but what if it SHOULD mean something?  I sometimes go through life, noticing some things and not others, or maybe paying attention to things that are big, and not noticing the seemingly insignificant happenings of my daily life.  But those things can and ARE used by God to shape us and mold us.  We as a person might be confused by the events of our lives, but God seeks to use those, in growing us into the person He's designed us to be! 

So here's a thought from Jerry Sittser "God, too, is an artist, but the materials for his works of art are not marble or canvas but flesh and blood. We are the ones he wants to shape into beautiful creatures. He, like any artist, sees what ought to be in us and chips away at everything that keeps us from it. That is the essence of God's grace for discipleship, his initiative."

Don't you sometimes feel that God is involved, but kinda observing to a point what is happening?  I do sometimes.  I forget that He takes initiative in putting this or that in our way, to help us...maybe not what we would consider helping, but more...to form us, give us opportunities to grow perhaps?  Think about this quote from E. Stanley Jones, "Don't bear trouble, use it....Take whatever happens--justice and injustice, pleasure and pain, compliment and criticism--take it up into the purpose of your life and make something out of it. Turn it into a testimony. Don't explain evil; exploit it; make it serve you."

Hm...puts a new vision out there, doesn't it?  So when we don't know what to do, or when we don't understand what's going on, we're to look to God....but also, as Sittser goes on to suggest, we should keep one eye also on what God is doing IN us, not just around us.  What are we supposed to take from this situation?  Who are we supposed to become?  Why are we here and not somewhere else?  

Let's look together, at the days we have here, there, wherever, and think together.....am I supposed to be learning something here?  If you're answer is yes (which it probably should be...) then what is it that I'm supposed to see?  Seek God, and He'll reveal that to you....individually.  It might not come right away, that's why we're to seek HIM.  So...go for it!

I know...

"I do not know what lies ahead, the way I cannot see; Yet One stands near to be my guide, He'll show the way to me. I do not know how many days of life are mine to spend; But One who knows and cares for me will keep me to the end. I do not know the course ahead, what joys and griefs are there; But One is near who fully knows, I'll trust his loving care.

"I know who holds the future and I know He holds my hand. With God things don't just happen, everything by Him is planned; So as I face tomorrow with it's problems large and small, I'll trust the God of miracles, give to Him my all."

This is a song by Alfred B. Smith and E. C. titled "I Know Who Holds the Future," which I just found tonight while playing old old "Singspiration" music on the piano. The words & truth behind those words brought me comfort & I thought I might share that with you.

"This week has brought me down a path of darkness & decay. But lately I've been feeling that it might just go away. This evening I laughed, I cried & I prayed, all for different things. And then I thought a simple minded joyful heart also prays & sings! The joy tonight I feel inside, deep deep within. And laughter fills my every thought, knowing I'm cleansed of sin." ---me.