Saturday, January 10, 2009


How is it that people can make you cry so much? Songs conjure up so many sorrows & truths, breath & life....Ah, I just can't stand it. Today was a "great" day, on many counts. I sifted through 2 month old mail, read another few chapters in my current book, briefed myself on the news, cleaned my apartment & was in my pj's until 3pm. Although, it was just a lonely day. There was something hitting me today, that just wouldn't shrug off. Even though the thought of actually seeing or being with another person made me shudder, all I really wanted to do was just sit with someone. Feel their arm around my shoulder & know that I could cry & cry without judgment. Then there in the car tonight, listening to deafening music, one of my past favorite songs came on and as I'm singing the lyrics, the chorus came on & I burst into tears, realizing what I was singing....."not alone, no we're not alone now, honey. we'll make it home 'cause we're not alone." As I cried out the words, I realized that was God's little reminder that as lonely as I felt today, He was there with me...the whole day, not just then, but I didn't realize it until I was in the car.

How long o'Lord, must we wait, how long until you calm our spirits, until we meet you face to face & you dry our every tear? Why can it not be today? Why can it not be right now? I long for you, search for you & hold fast to your promise. ....

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