Last night, talking with a friend, made me think about some things....about "being". There also was a group of people yesterday, who I shared with about my struggle with this whole concept of just "being"....of being still, of listening, of taking time to slow down, etc. A very good friend of mine has asked me to take some time to slow down, with writing letters.....I started, but still haven't gotten a whole one out (It's coming you).
Anyway, what I found funny yesterday is that in thinking about "being" I took time to look through some of my old blog posts. It dumbfounded me because what is happening today, is totally different from two years ago, yet some of my thoughts & reactions are completely identical. I read one post, and thought....this could have been a narrative of me today, crazy! Totally different situation, and yet same response. Makes me wonder how much I'm growing....or how much this is just me, and going to stay me. Is there something more I need to learn in this area, or rather will I EVER learn?
I don't know. But I do know this.....whoever is reading this, you know me (or at least most of you do)....so if you see things that you question, I'm opening myself up to your questioning of me. Seek me out & ask about it if you see something that brings up a flag in your mind....caution me, question me, whatever you feel you need to do. I'm okay with that. It's helping me to grow.
I've felt a similiar way in the past-- that I'm always repeating-- the same patterns, the same everything! That's why I like to set goals so when I notice these patterns (if they're not godly), that I can set up a plan to change them. Say stress hits & my instict is to talk talk talk to people instead of, bringing it to God. Well, I identify that issue, then pull out scripture that tells me to act differently, then I put it somewhere where I can see it to remind me when that happens next time. That's the only way i'll change. Anyways, that's all I have for you. No questions really... but I think it'd be important for you to search, identify and then compare your actions to scriptures. LOVE YOU
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