God Size

The last few months here have been crazy.  Literally speaking, they've been such a whirlwind, that every time I've even thought of writing, I'll forget about 10 minutes later because I'm on to something different.  But tonight, I felt like I had to write....there's too much to say all in one post, but this message keeps coming through different ways, and so it must be something that is important.  So here goes.

Have you ever been faced with something where you thought, "how am I supposed to pray for this!?"...you battle within yourself whether you should pray for a miracle, or not, because you "know" that it won't happen probably and that whatever it is in front of you will just turn out the way things "normally" turn out, whether that be good or bad, but either way you pray it's not really going to be different.  Have you been there?  I have, and I'm sure some of you have too.  You're like....you trust in God, but really when the odds look so grim you just don't know if you should pray that God will perform a miracle or if you should just accept the fate & pray for God to give peace.

Well.....here's a question for you: How well do you know God?

Really, how well do you KNOW Him?  The earth is finite, right?  Meaning there's only limited outcomes, options, possibilities, etc.  But God is NOT.  He created the earth, so He doesn't live within the confines of our existence, He lives in the freedom of His!  So when we pray, are we underestimating the power of God by not even asking for something bigger than we could even imagine?

This spring, things were going along just "normal" until one day I went to work & they told me that I was being laid off.  Oddly enough, I wasn't devastated.  Honestly I'd been having a conversation with God about what was next....I wasn't sure that where I was then was where He would always want me to be...so when I heard that I would be leaving in a month, it was a little bit of an "okay God, now what..." moment.  Financially I was okay for a little while, so I decided that since I had so many things planned for the summer, I would wait on God for just the right thing, and not pursue another position until the middle of August.

At the beginning of July, I visited my dad in TX, and finished a book called "Sacred Waiting" by David Timms.  It seemed that book was perfectly timed, by hitting on my period of waiting that had just been semi-imposed upon me by getting laid off.  I went back to MN to prepare for an art show before heading out on another vacation with some friends (which is another story all in itself) and two days before I left I got a strange call.  It was one of my old supervisors, from the job I had just left.  He said that his wife had met a guy at a concert, and that through random conversation, he mentioned they were looking for someone like me and so she mentioned my name and now that guy was trying to get in touch with me about a job.  That morning, I researched the organization, called & left a message and two hours later got a call back. They wanted me to come in for an interview 2 hours later.  Here's the scenario: I'm in my PJ's at 1pm, I don't have a current resume, don't have a printer if I DID have a current resume, wasn't sure that I had any clean business clothes to wear and was then living an hour away from the office....so naturally I said "of course I can make it by 3pm". lol.  I stood in line behind three 10 year old girls at the public library to print off my resume, and barely made it in.

To make the rest of the story short, I was offered the job the next day.  It was outstanding.  I feel so blessed, and I know that this kind of thing does NOT happen that often, but it was like....God was reminding me that He does things in HIS timing and way, not necessarily ours.  So this weekend, we're hosting an event, hoping to draw in 5,500 people! We'll be sharing the gospel and feature some great musicians!  And through the planning, I've been nervous, wondering how it'll all turn out, what will happen, who will come, etc.  And sitting here tonight, being reminded of God's miraculous power through the book of John, I'm finding peace knowing that God's got it.

He's greater than anything we can imagine, and so He's capable of doing more than we can imagine.  We just need to stop underestimating Him and closing doors where He wants to show us His miracles!  Where does God want to do a miracle in your life, or challenge you to trust in Him more?  As you think on that, also remember us this Saturday in prayer.  Pray that people will pack the house, pray that people will respond to the gospel, pray that the Lord would do something that we could have never imagined!  Hallelujah!

(If you want to watch our concert streaming live, tune in Saturday at 7pm Central at: http://livestre.am/16gGw)  

Branches & Vines

This past weekend I did a lot of cleaning.  Inside my house as well as some inside my soul.  While emptying out a book closet, I came across an old journal that my great grandmother had written, telling a bit of her story of marriage, grief, hardships & the faithfulness of God throughout each moment.  It was a precious reminder of how the Lord is faithful throughout the generations.  How blessed I felt to know that He was working so many years ago, while forming the foundation that I would grow into through this family.

On Sunday, I visited the church that I had read about in her writing, that my family had been diligent to help begin.  The worship felt new this time.  Knowing a part of the history of how these settlers, new & shocked by the un-true tellings of the reality that would face them on the land that awaited them.  Their hearts were on giving the next generation a hope & future....even if that meant really hard work & struggles.  Even if that meant starting your own church because faith in God was that important.  Even if that meant losing many dreams you had for yourself so that dreams your children dreamt could come true.

At the church though, the sermon was about the Vine & Branches section of John 15.  I normally really appreciate this verse, but as I had been going through a lot of things that were left after my mother passed away, I was saddened because it was like....well, I understand that God would cut off branches that weren't producing fruit, but what about those that WERE producing fruit?  Why would he cut those off early?  Thankfully, when these thoughts were mumbling through my little brain, they were caught by the next phrase the pastor spoke....about God pruning the branches that were producing fruit because by doing that sometimes the fruit other branches produce will grow larger & that the quality of the fruit might become better.

This made me wonder about my life right now, and those lives of my siblings & friends.  People who we've known, outstanding characters & faithful to the Lord, those people who were cut off from life seemingly too early to understand.  It hurt, and still does many days, but it seems like this verse would flow with this course of pruning.  Somethings that I've done this year, never would have been done had my mother been around.  Other things I've seen my friends/siblings do would never have happened if their friends or family had been around....it doesn't make it feel better that they're not here to see these amazing things forming in us, but knowing that somehow their leaving earth spurred a new life inside of us is inspiring.

I don't know what my whole thought here really comes to, but maybe just knowing that God prunes fruitful branches sometimes to bear bigger fruits on the branches that are left, makes me wonder....what kind of fruit does he see as possible out of our lives?  What will be coming through the pruning?  It doesn't always feel good to be pruned, but then again who are we as branches to tell the Gardener which branches He should prune?  He knows best, for "...He who promised is faithful." (Romans 10:23)

Parties & Prayer

Last night, I stood still, amidst hundreds of students all proclaiming their praise & confession to the Lord.  We prayed for those who are lost, seeking & struggling.  For those who do not yet know Truth.  Outside the building where we gathered, a deep pounding surged through to our ears, just across the street were parties, with probably the same amount of students, but not gathered for the same purpose.  They were there, doing whatever felt right to satisfy them for the moment.  But at the end of the night, where would they end up?  I met a few who wandered through our doors after the evening had ended.  They were looking for something.....it didn't matter what, they just wanted to be a part of something.  While talking with them, my heart ached for them to be a part of our family...of God's family.  If only they could understand that they mattered, that God loved them, that we loved them, and that there was purpose for their life.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

The seeking, searching, aching and dizzying path of these students compels me to pray that someday soon they can understand fully the grace of God that has been extended towards them, and that there is a way of peace & joy, found only in the Lord.  Will you join me in this prayer?

www.pulsemovement.com

Now & not later

Tonight was an interesting evening.  I was blessed to be able to join my friends Erin & Deb at a meeting of youth, for Timber Bay.  This was the organization that this years' "Come Run with Julie" race raised money for.  We were able to go, tell the kids about Julie's story, give them some t-shirts & also tell them about what was raised for them.

Sitting on an island, with a bonfire going, listening to Deb, the mother of my dear friend Julie, talk about Julie's life and death, and the impact that it has had on the world, just broke something in me.  One of Deb's stories, mentioned that Julie had never had a passport, or ever made it out of the country.  Yet after she died, they heard from people on SIX continents that had been touched by Julie's story.....that they wanted to tell others about her legacy.  For a girl who never left the states, that is quite the impact.  It just made me think about what my impact would be if I had been in her situation....or even just a different one where I was gone suddenly, would my life leave a mark?  hm.

I think about my mom too, and how all she ever wanted to be was a mom.  She met that goal head on, and was the best mom I've ever had or known about.  (no offense to you other moms out there.....mine was the best.)  She put everything she had into loving us kids, and when she died, as horrible as it felt, what an honor to see over 700 people show up over three days, to remember her and praise the life that she had poured out here on earth, living a life that she felt God called her into.  And I just wonder, will my life make an impact like that someday?  hm.

What else got me thinking, was a picture.....out of a stack of about 40 photos, one held my gaze....a photo of Julie & Andrea, standing close to the rivers bank, with their feet in the water, not quite full in, but testing it, both faces aglow as the cool water probably tickled their feet.  The photo was taken just moments before they faced the falls, but the looks on their faces were so peaceful, so content, so beautiful and happy.  There was no indication of what was about to happen.  This was a moment, a sacred moment, where things were okay.  They were going well.  Then minutes later, the sharp reality of life's uncertainty gripped their bodies and pulled them from our lives.  ........

We never know when things like this are going to happen.  We never know who it will happen to.  We never know why terrible things happen to good people.  But we do know that there is hope.  There is a hope we can find in Jesus, in trusting in Him to be our savior, to walk with him & stumble with him.  To allow him to overflow into our hearts & lives, rather than life flowing over us.  He loves you.  He really does.  And there's no better time than right NOW.....not five minutes from now, but NOW to accept his love and turn your life towards Him.

My mom didn't know she'd be leaving so soon, and Julie wouldn't have guessed how her life would end, but as you & I sit here in front of this computer, if we were to go right now......would you know Jesus? would you have hope?  would you go in confidence trusting that the Lord had your life in His hands?  You need to know, that there is hope, and that it is only found in the one true God.

A life of Waiting

In a world that waits for nothing, God has given us a few great examples of how to live a patient life, waiting fully on Him.

Think about your definition of waiting, what does it mean to you to wait?  Many times we see waiting purely as a means to an end.  But there is also a type of waiting has more to do with Presence & Service. It’s not just something we do for a time, but it’s a type of waiting that permeates who we are and how we respond.

If someone wants to be a good server or waiter at a restaurant, what are the two main things you are required to do? Be present and be of service.  Now this order is important, because if you’re not present to the person at the table, how will you ever be able to be of service to them?  In order to be a good waiter, or server, you need to practice the Presence of waiting…..making a connection with the person and listening to them well. 

As we look throughout the Old Testament you’ll see many examples of God’s people waiting, waiting, and waiting.  Some people in the Old Testament like Abraham & Sarah didn’t want to wait for God’s promise to them any longer, so they went ahead with their own plan.  Others, like with Moses & the Israelites, instead of waiting for God’s timing, they turned to idols & let fear take over which in turn they were told to wait longer…40 years longer.

There was one man though that waited an extraordinarily long time for God—and that man is Noah.  Noah grew up in a time where the people on earth, similar to today, were becoming more & more rebellious against God, turning to their own desires & plans.  Noah’s heritage however, was laced with strong & faithful men.  Enoch, Noah’s great grandfather was a man who walked so closely with God that eventually God just “took” him from the earth.  Noah’s grandfather was Methuselah, whose name meant “when he dies, it will be sent.”  And even Noah’s name meant “rest,” which at his birth his father stated that he would bring rest from the toil & work of the ground that was cursed.  I don’t know how these names were chosen, but as we’ll soon see, they were both very meaningful & prophetic.

For over 400 years, there’s no mention really of Noah’s life, except that he had found favor in the eyes of the Lord & that Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God.” (Genesis 6:8-9)  When Noah was given the task “Build an Ark,” it probably wasn’t because he was a great boat builder, or that he knew just how to do the task, but he responded because he walked with God and KNEW Him.  Noah was able to fulfill this request not because he was so skilled in making boats, or even building for that matter. What made him qualified for this enormous project was that he was in constant communication with God, and was consistently present to Him.  Over the 400 years of Noah’s life before this point, he had learned to discern God’s voice and knew when to respond.  In the game we played earlier, you needed to know what your teammate’s voice sounded like & discern their voice from all the rest of the yelling voices.  In the same way, Noah, in 400 years on earth had learned to hear God’s voice above all the others & pay attention to HIS voice as the one to direct him.

If Noah had any doubts about if it was truly God telling him to build an ark, he probably would have just dismissed the request & gone about his business. Maybe God would have chosen someone else for the project, or maybe he would have just kept speaking…..we don’t know, but what we DO know, is that Noah wasn’t confused about if it was God’s voice. He understood the request, and set about fulfilling it immediately.  He knew it was God because he had been waiting on God for 400+ years. Now hopefully it won’t take US 400 years to get this down, but Noah was constantly going to God’s table, getting to know Him and His desires. 

This is where it gets tough for me…many times, I get into a habit of praying to God about…. “God, give me this, or that, tell me the answer here, or can you direct this to happen?” But truly, honestly waiting on God like Noah did, should be more about listening for what God’s list for US is, not what OUR list for HIM is.  And Noah had quite the list from God…..the ark he was told to build was about half the size of the Titanic, he had to build with certain wood, to certain specifications, all while having people mock & criticize his efforts. 

Yet he waited and endured. Because of Noah’s certainty that it was God who called him to build the ark, he disregarded the people’s jeers and continued diligently in the directly God had set him.  The estimate is that it took Noah 120 years to build the ark….and I don’t know about you, but I’m almost sure that I would have given up before then.  But he just kept going because that’s what God requested of Him.  He didn’t jump ahead of God’s plans either, he patiently waited on God’s timing, while continuing to walk with God & listen for his leading.

"Barbara Brown Taylor, an outstanding Bible teacher & preacher, tells the story of a friend who traveled to visit her shortly after she moved from Atlanta to the small township of Clarkesville in the north Georgia foothills. Without a cell phone or a reliable map, the friend became hopelessly lost, increasingly frantic, and somewhat faster on the roads. Finally, she glanced in her rearview mirror and saw those ominous flashing blue lights. She pulled over, and as the police officer approached her driver's side window, she handed him her license and registration. "I am so sorry," she said. "I know I was speeding, but I've been lost from the last forty minutes, and I cannot find Tower Terrace anywhere on this map." "Well, I'm sorry about that, too, ma'am," he said, writing up her citation, "but what made you think that hurrying would help you find your way?'" ....like this lady, how can we ever find our destination if we don't first slow down to really get to know the map, or the Father?  We can't rush ahead if we aren't first present to the One who should be giving us directions.

Noah didn’t get distracted by the project, but kept his focus on the Lord throughout the 120 years that he built the ark.  Even when it didn’t rain for years & years, and there was no “reasonable reason” why he should be building an ark, He kept going.  And during this time, he kept waiting on God's perfect timing. Interesting to me, is that his grandfather, whose name meant something like "when he dies, it will be sent," passed away shortly before the rains & floods came!  Wow. And Noah, whose name meant "rest" was able to play a critical role in God renewing the rest on the earth from corruption & evil.

After the flood, God honored Noah and promised that never again would He flood the whole earth. 

If we are to have the same perseverance & waiting ability that Noah had, it won’t come from a strong will but a strong walk with the Lord.  We shouldn’t just follow God when we see results, we should follow Him because He is trustworthy and will tell us what we need, when we need it. By establishing a solid waiting relationship through PRESENCE, we can then be good SERVERS.

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" (Isaiah 30:18)

"The Lord replied, 'My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14)

A life of Waiting

In a world that waits for nothing, God has given us a few great examples of how to live a patient life, waiting fully on Him.

Think about your definition of waiting, what does it mean to you to wait?  Many times we see waiting purely as a means to an end.  But there is also a type of waiting has more to do with Presence & Service. It’s not just something we do for a time, but it’s a type of waiting that permeates who we are and how we respond.

If someone wants to be a good server or waiter at a restaurant, what are the two main things you are required to do? Be present and be of service.  Now this order is important, because if you’re not present to the person at the table, how will you ever be able to be of service to them?  In order to be a good waiter, or server, you need to practice the Presence of waiting…..making a connection with the person and listening to them well. 

As we look throughout the Old Testament you’ll see many examples of God’s people waiting, waiting, and waiting.  Some people in the Old Testament like Abraham & Sarah didn’t want to wait for God’s promise to them any longer, so they went ahead with their own plan.  Others, like with Moses & the Israelites, instead of waiting for God’s timing, they turned to idols & let fear take over which in turn they were told to wait longer…40 years longer.

There was one man though that waited an extraordinarily long time for God—and that man is Noah.  Noah grew up in a time where the people on earth, similar to today, were becoming more & more rebellious against God, turning to their own desires & plans.  Noah’s heritage however, was laced with strong & faithful men.  Enoch, Noah’s great grandfather was a man who walked so closely with God that eventually God just “took” him from the earth.  Noah’s grandfather was Methuselah, whose name meant “when he dies, it will be sent.”  And even Noah’s name meant “rest,” which at his birth his father stated that he would bring rest from the toil & work of the ground that was cursed.  I don’t know how these names were chosen, but as we’ll soon see, they were both very meaningful & prophetic.

For over 400 years, there’s no mention really of Noah’s life, except that he had found favor in the eyes of the Lord & that Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God.” (Genesis 6:8-9)  When Noah was given the task “Build an Ark,” it probably wasn’t because he was a great boat builder, or that he knew just how to do the task, but he responded because he walked with God and KNEW Him.  Noah was able to fulfill this request not because he was so skilled in making boats, or even building for that matter. What made him qualified for this enormous project was that he was in constant communication with God, and was consistently present to Him.  Over the 400 years of Noah’s life before this point, he had learned to discern God’s voice and knew when to respond.  In the game we played earlier, you needed to know what your teammate’s voice sounded like & discern their voice from all the rest of the yelling voices.  In the same way, Noah, in 400 years on earth had learned to hear God’s voice above all the others & pay attention to HIS voice as the one to direct him.

If Noah had any doubts about if it was truly God telling him to build an ark, he probably would have just dismissed the request & gone about his business. Maybe God would have chosen someone else for the project, or maybe he would have just kept speaking…..we don’t know, but what we DO know, is that Noah wasn’t confused about if it was God’s voice. He understood the request, and set about fulfilling it immediately.  He knew it was God because he had been waiting on God for 400+ years. Now hopefully it won’t take US 400 years to get this down, but Noah was constantly going to God’s table, getting to know Him and His desires. 

This is where it gets tough for me…many times, I get into a habit of praying to God about…. “God, give me this, or that, tell me the answer here, or can you direct this to happen?” But truly, honestly waiting on God like Noah did, should be more about listening for what God’s list for US is, not what OUR list for HIM is.  And Noah had quite the list from God…..the ark he was told to build was about half the size of the Titanic, he had to build with certain wood, to certain specifications, all while having people mock & criticize his efforts. 

Yet he waited and endured. Because of Noah’s certainty that it was God who called him to build the ark, he disregarded the people’s jeers and continued diligently in the directly God had set him.  The estimate is that it took Noah 120 years to build the ark….and I don’t know about you, but I’m almost sure that I would have given up before then.  But he just kept going because that’s what God requested of Him.  He didn’t jump ahead of God’s plans either, he patiently waited on God’s timing, while continuing to walk with God & listen for his leading.

"Barbara Brown Taylor, an outstanding Bible teacher & preacher, tells the story of a friend who traveled to visit her shortly after she moved from Atlanta to the small township of Clarkesville in the north Georgia foothills. Without a cell phone or a reliable map, the friend became hopelessly lost, increasingly frantic, and somewhat faster on the roads. Finally, she glanced in her rearview mirror and saw those ominous flashing blue lights. She pulled over, and as the police officer approached her driver's side window, she handed him her license and registration. "I am so sorry," she said. "I know I was speeding, but I've been lost from the last forty minutes, and I cannot find Tower Terrace anywhere on this map." "Well, I'm sorry about that, too, ma'am," he said, writing up her citation, "but what made you think that hurrying would help you find your way?'" ....like this lady, how can we ever find our destination if we don't first slow down to really get to know the map, or the Father?  We can't rush ahead if we aren't first present to the One who should be giving us directions.

Noah didn’t get distracted by the project, but kept his focus on the Lord throughout the 120 years that he built the ark.  Even when it didn’t rain for years & years, and there was no “reasonable reason” why he should be building an ark, He kept going.  And during this time, he kept waiting on God's perfect timing. Interesting to me, is that his grandfather, whose name meant something like "when he dies, it will be sent," passed away shortly before the rains & floods came!  Wow. And Noah, whose name meant "rest" was able to play a critical role in God renewing the rest on the earth from corruption & evil.

After the flood, God honored Noah and promised that never again would He flood the whole earth. 

If we are to have the same perseverance & waiting ability that Noah had, it won’t come from a strong will but a strong walk with the Lord.  We shouldn’t just follow God when we see results, we should follow Him because He is trustworthy and will tell us what we need, when we need it. By establishing a solid waiting relationship through PRESENCE, we can then be good SERVERS.

Doors & Windows

So the last month or so, I've been doing a practice to notice what good things I can praise God about from each day, and it's been really great to notice those things, some bigger than others, but each one still worth noticing.

Recently though, my future is looking a little different....weird & hard but also good & exciting.  I know I'm being very broad & not saying a lot, but now is not yet the time to reveal what's going on.  But in the meantime, here's where I find myself...it feels like a few doors have been closed, but when those doors closed, the only place I could turn to was up, looking to the heavens, and here is where I saw all these doors & windows that had been there all along, just waiting to be explored....

It's a bit overwhelming though, knowing that what you have been doing will be changing, and what you will be doing, is yet to be discovered.  I'm thankful that when I look up, I see the beautiful clouds that God created, feel the sun warm on my face, and can know that even through another unknown, that God knows and will be guiding me through all the way.  Just like in the book of Joshua, God told the Israelites to follow behind the Ark of the Covenant so that by it they might know which way to go...this is my prayer, that in the next few weeks and months especially, that the Lord might lead so I can follow.

Psalm 139:4-6 says "Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain."  The Lord knew these new things would change part of my outlook, but because He covers me and knows more than I can ever imagine, He is trustworthy to take care of me while I search for which window or door He'd like me to push open.