Battlestations

If you've seen my status the last few days, you may have wondered what my battlestations I was manning. Well, let me tell you a little bit of history, and then what recently I was fighting so strongly against.

A few years ago, living in NY, I was awakened to the human trafficking & underground prostitution happening right on my streets & in my community. Someone I met through church, actually lived in the same building as a brothel. I started having dreams of seeing women crying out for help, and when I'd go to get others to come help me save them, no one would come. I would then (in my dream) get frustrated & just go to help them myself. Over the next few months & year, I was drawn to books telling of the horrors of human trafficking & prostitution, and the plight of young women who are captured into this trade. There was even a small child who I had met in Romania, who suddenly was in the grasp of being sold into mob prostitution at the age of 4! God saved her from this, but the fact that it was the intent of people in power to do this to such an innocent child broke my heart.

Last fall, I was introduced to a group in Saint Paul, that go directly to women who are stuck on the streets, surviving in this trade, and gives them hope of a rescue. They provide housing, counseling, rehab & discipleship. The men who solicit these services also are taught the affect their activity has on the woman's life & soul. It's a comprehensive, in-depth ministry.

Last week, they let us know that a club in Minneapolis, Karma, was hosting a "Cross County Pimpin Bash". You probably won't believe what I'm about to say, but they actually planned to show training videos to guys, on how to control women, how to dress them, how to get them into the business, etc. **insert shocked silence** ....yeah, for real. This was also going to be a recruiting night to try & get girls into prostitution. Can we say illegal? So, they had a protest, outside the club (you know I'm always looking to be out loud about stuff), and I went with some friends. There was probably about 40 people there, and we just talked to people on the street, held signs & did some loud shouting, and lots of praying...it was an experience. I think in the two hours that we were there, only four people still decided to go in! Wow. Even the bouncers were telling people that they might as well not come in, because it wasn't worth it, no one was there!

We also saw the pimps who were putting this on, and who had made the videos...and they were videotaping US! I was a little unnerved by this...who knows what they'll use it for. We did get a few opportunities to talk to them though, and also to some of the bouncers working the door. They, as well as many other cab drivers, locals & various others, were taking the time to read our signs, ask questions & think about what was going on. God really used this as an opportunity to tell people what is really going on in our communities!

This is real people, don't be naive & think that this stuff only happens in the BIG cities like Las Vegas, LA & New York...it's big HERE, and whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, it's a huge problem, and cuff that is holding our city captive. We must pray that Satan would loose his grip on the women & men that have been trapped in this lie.

Our eyes are on You

We know not what to do, but our eyes are on you." (2 Chronicles 20:12) It's true, do we really know what we're doing?  What is this mission we're on?  Keep our eyes on Jesus. When we don't know what to do, where are we supposed to look?  To HIM.  The author & perfecter of our life.  

Many times, things come into our life, and we count them as coincidence.  We ask why they happened, or blow them off like it doesn't mean anything....but what if it SHOULD mean something?  I sometimes go through life, noticing some things and not others, or maybe paying attention to things that are big, and not noticing the seemingly insignificant happenings of my daily life.  But those things can and ARE used by God to shape us and mold us.  We as a person might be confused by the events of our lives, but God seeks to use those, in growing us into the person He's designed us to be! 

So here's a thought from Jerry Sittser "God, too, is an artist, but the materials for his works of art are not marble or canvas but flesh and blood. We are the ones he wants to shape into beautiful creatures. He, like any artist, sees what ought to be in us and chips away at everything that keeps us from it. That is the essence of God's grace for discipleship, his initiative."

Don't you sometimes feel that God is involved, but kinda observing to a point what is happening?  I do sometimes.  I forget that He takes initiative in putting this or that in our way, to help us...maybe not what we would consider helping, but more...to form us, give us opportunities to grow perhaps?  Think about this quote from E. Stanley Jones, "Don't bear trouble, use it....Take whatever happens--justice and injustice, pleasure and pain, compliment and criticism--take it up into the purpose of your life and make something out of it. Turn it into a testimony. Don't explain evil; exploit it; make it serve you."

Hm...puts a new vision out there, doesn't it?  So when we don't know what to do, or when we don't understand what's going on, we're to look to God....but also, as Sittser goes on to suggest, we should keep one eye also on what God is doing IN us, not just around us.  What are we supposed to take from this situation?  Who are we supposed to become?  Why are we here and not somewhere else?  

Let's look together, at the days we have here, there, wherever, and think together.....am I supposed to be learning something here?  If you're answer is yes (which it probably should be...) then what is it that I'm supposed to see?  Seek God, and He'll reveal that to you....individually.  It might not come right away, that's why we're to seek HIM.  So...go for it!

Home...

Walking, stumbling, to a home I've never seen. This is the way I go, and the path that we are on together. The way of Christ is so unknown, unpredictable and yet unchanging. He IS. Only by looking toward Him are we able to see just who we truly are, who we are created to be. When we look at ourselves all we see is who the world has made us, or who it tells us we should be. It is only when we look to Christ, and God the Father that we can clearly see who we were made to be, who we aim to be and where that person should go. Maybe not where--God doesn't always tell us that but He sometimes says how--we know how all we have to do is look at Christ.

So while we walk with Christ in sight, we are moving forward, but if we get distracted or carried away we may stumble. We don't or won't know where we're going if we don't keep our eyes on Christ. And how will we know? We are heading to a homeland that we've never seen before--none of us. All the more reason to look and follow after Christ. He knows the way. He IS the way. Only He can lead us home and give us the peace that our souls burn for. Only then can our sails be loosed and our anchors et--we will be home.

Expectation-2

A while ago, I wrote about expectations, the ones that people have for us, the ones we have for ourselves and ones we have about other people. But what about those expectations that you fight yourself not to have, the ones that you know better than to have, but yet somewhere inside you, when the expectation isn't filled, you realize that it was still there....though you tried to deny it.

It's like no matter what you do, there's always some expectation as to what will happen....either good or bad. Justified or not, your expectations are there, and get you excited or nervous or anxious or hesitant or whatever it is that you feel about an upcoming event or situation, and it just is what it is. So what do you try and do? Not get excited, or nervous, or anxious, or hesitant. You try really hard to tell yourself it's not a big deal, just calm down, take a breath...it's just whatever. But it seems to have an opposite effect. It's like if you tell yourself it's not a big deal, it really becomes one. You tell yourself not to get anxious, but then you do. If it's something not to worry about, somehow it worries you.

Then it happens. The day comes, the moment comes, and it's here. No more expectations, because what is IS, anticipation becomes anti-climactic. You find yourself rolling with the twists of the day, and pretty soon it's over. Done. All cleared up & you're through. And what of your expectations? Nothing. Except that somehow you feel like nothing really happened, and so then it comes to the surface that you really DID have expectations...yep, those you kept telling yourself you didn't have. Well, la-di-dah, they were there, and now you feel a little let down that you had those expectations and nothing really changed. Nothing for the worse, nothing for the better...just okay. And you're okay with that, honestly okay. But just okay. Not thrilled, not angry, just okay.

The next question is, how do you get past those feelings of expectation that you had, denied, felt, accepted & now are trying analyze? I guess that's where faith comes in...trying to see that the faith in Christ that you have, will come through again, taking those expectations & doing SOMETHING with them. Putting my expectations in my neat little packing boxes, under the shelf, and waiting to see what God has in store for the next day, or month, or year. Waiting to see what will develop, what wont, where he'll take you, where you'll stay, what you'll learn, what you'll wonder about, who you are and who you'll be. Expect something, expect nothing, but whatever you expect, expect that God will be there, when the expectations that you don't expect, leave you expecting something more....

Wholly Yours

It's interesting how God divinely orchestrates pieces of the puzzle to fit together perfectly, and all in one weekend. It never ceases to amaze me how that happens. The sermon I heard last evening, was speaking about paying attention to the grapes & thorns in life...seeing the Spirit at work in people. Then I read in a book last night, all about how when we come into the faith, sometimes we can become lopsided Christians..."We will fight God's battles without learning to rest in him and thus exhaust ourselves and perhaps become cynical. We will discipline ourselves to maturity but never be enfolded by grace and so become rigid and self-righteous. We will be healed of our problems but rarely accept the cureless pain of helping others. Or we will climb the mountain of financial, spiritual and popular success but refuse to descend into the pit of defeat, where most people live."(The Adventure, Jerry Sittser)

It goes on to encourage us to discover the multi-faceted realm of Christ, the life he offers & what he truly intended us to learn & become. There's so much, so many things about life & faith that I have yet to learn. It's exciting to search for it, frustrating sometimes because my nature wants to know it all NOW, and yet that's just not the way it works. It's about a life of seeking, developing and learning new things about God's grace, love & forgiveness. About seeing ways to love people out of the love you have for God. ...many ways that I've never even thought of I'm sure. In Matthew 5, there's a guideline if you will, about Christian maturity...here's the list:

3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

This goes into every aspect of life, making one's life fully sweet, not thorny....looking at this description, it doesn't seem like you can really (or should really) put Christianity in one compartment of your life without it affecting everything else around it. Let Christ transform your WHOLE life, let's do this together, dive in to see His truth and his variety of joys He is seeking out for us.

When I can't feel You...

I haven't been writing recently, due to many things, but mainly it's because I really only write when I feel God trying to teach me something, or if there's a big revelation that has taken off some blinds.  There has been this wall that felt to me like it was growing wider & wider, keeping me from something, anything that had life in it.  I've been seeking this life, but it felt so distant, far away & unreachable.  Things kept coming at me that would make me to feel it, cut to my core & make me uncomfortable in where I was...unsatisfied.  Some of this unsatisfaction is a good thing, a good reminder that my life cannot be about me but about other people & helping others who can't help themselves.  Yet those twinges of sickness, about the depravity of abandoned children or sickened friends, came in highs & quickly would depart from my mind.  This is something that I noticed, and it seems that if loving is a lifestyle, there shouldn't be such drastic desires & then thoughts of nothing....right?  Anyway, I've been really loose in my quiet times with God, really not making it a priority, though in my mind it really is....yet actions say more than my thoughts ever will.  Once again, He has spoken to me through voices that surround me daily, friends who continually speak into my life....more than they may ever know.  Also, a song has given me the words I've forgotten to sing.

It says "There's a distance in the air and I cannot make it leave, I wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might. I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here, but the comfort of you near is what I long for. When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same, when I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray. And I want you more than I want to live another day, and as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful."

You see, I haven't been faithful....to this amazing Father that has given me everlasting life & abundant joy, I have been the one to leave the way, to stray & forget that these relationships take lots of work.  Even when I get busy, there's gotta be time that is set apart to dwell in the goodness of Christ, his grace & peace.  Without seeing Him all around, I lose vision, passion & direction.  It's like driving in the dark, without lights....how will you learn to drive, let alone get anywhere without looking for the light?  

God, I need you now more than ever....Thank you for being the faithful God that you are, ever present & willing to hold me when I come back crying out for your mercy.  

Confirmation of Calling?

Some days, do you wake up and wonder if what you have felt called to is really something you're still called to? Have you questioned if God really wants you to stand up for a certain people, or if it was all just your own thoughts provoking you forward? What about when you choose a different direction from what you knew you were called, does God then give you a new direction or does He sit patiently waiting for you to remember to that which you were called?

This morning, as I was watching a comedy clip, using Romanian farmers as the butt of the joke, I was really moved. Now this may BE my own thoughts, but because God has placed a deep love for the people of Romania, it hurts me when others make an image of them that could be very hurtful. It just confirmed that yes, the draw is still there, yes, the pull is for Christ's overwhelming love to cover them, yes, God desires righteousness from others & myself, yes, God will provide the way.

Though I am troubled, the people of Romania are still protected & guarded by God the Father, our Deliverer. He will send who He needs, and guide those He calls. So for now, I pray for you and them, that we all remember, "my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior— from violent men you save me." (2 Samuel 22:3)