Boldness in the dark

Current mood: Courageous

Tonight, I watched "Kingdom of Heaven"...for those of you who have not seen it, I would recommend it, but not if you get queazy by bloody war films. The ideas...not really ideas, but more points that are put forward, are upright & seem to be true to God's character. The movie takes place during the crusades...Muslim's and Christendom, one against each other's purpose yet not against each other. It brings to the surface that men can be good despite the bad around them, that standing for a Godly purpose can bring Glory to God through all men.

Please read the quotes below to get a taste of the honest truth & beauty of the purpose behind this piece of art & mastery.

King: You see, none of us chose our end really. A king may move a man, a father may claim a son. But remember that, even when those who move you be kings or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God you cannot say "but I was told by others to do thus" or that "virtue was not convinient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that.

Nasir: Your quality will be known among your enemies, before ever you meet them.

Hospitaller: I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What god desires is here
[points to head]
Hospitaller: and here
[points to heart]
Hospitaller: and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man - or not.

Balian of Ibelin: What man is a man who does not make the world better.

Godfrey of Ibelin: Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath.

Balian of Ibelin: God will understand, my lord. And if he doesn't, then he is not God and we need not worry.

The Craziest Thing

It's a funny thing when people or situations around you just happen to turn out funny. It's nothing you can plan on or hope for....but somewhere deep down you always do! You can't plan on those things like choking on falafel cause you're laughing so hard and at that exact moment a Jewish midget happens to walk past your window! Or like when you're playing a game of Mexican Train with your grandpa who just had a stroke & as he's moving the train forward he says "tweet tweet"! These moments are priceless....funny, hysterical and worth so much in memories.

Then there are those moments where you're laughing at this lady dancing her heart out to some crazy music and realize that she doesn't have a care in the world right now and you would LOVE to be in her shoes. Or moments when people you've never met come to you with a message they believe is from God...and they speak into what you'd been praying about all day but hadn't told a soul!

But the craziest thing, is that tonight, after a day of secluding myself in silence (pretty much), I went home to watch the Bucket List. As I cried through the end of "The Bucket List," all I wanted was some water & maybe something sweet. SO I went to my kitchen, got a big glass of water & reached into my "stash" to get a piece of Dove chocolate. As is my custom, I always fully unwrap the chocolate before looking at the phrase beneath. And what was the message I found? "Make a list of your dreams." I laughed, I stared and then cried because somewhere deep inside I just needed to hear someone, something, anything encouraging at that moment. I just wanted to know someone was there & there He was....providing a little comfort & humor in the moment I needed it. A little reminder that God is in every moment of our lives....directing & navigating our path to His good will...and through His good sense of humor!

Hope....and courage.

So today I visited an old (literally old, as in age) friend in the hospital. His whole being is an encouragement to each person that he knows. It is this kind of person that I hope to be someday...but seeing him in the hospital shook me back to the memories of my own grandfather in the hospital. Some of you didn't know me at that time, but it was a difficult time for me & my family. It was a deep time of uncertainty & disbelief. The quietness of the hospital room, being surrounded by a presence of peace & grace, yet shrouded with fear and pain. In the last few hours that I spent with my grandpa, I sang him some old hymns & read some scriptures...he was unresponsive for two weeks, yet when you held his hand he would squeeze so tight that you knew he understood my intentions were to show my love for him. Today, as I visited my friend, we prayed & he squeezed my hand the way my grandpa did...it brought tears out of my eyes, silently releasing the longing I still have to see my grandpa again. As I remember what God has told us & look back on how I have seen Him work, I know that through this, God IS STILL WITH US. Last night, I watched Martian Child, and the father says to the little boy who has been hurt, abused, abandoned & left behind, "I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER, ever....leave you." As the child embraces the man who he knows truly loves him more than anything, you get a sense that this is how God reaches out & comforts us amidst our pain. In Romans 8:28 it says "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God." And Romans 8:38 says "So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. Think on these things & be comforted knowing that though men & women die, leave us, move away or forget us, God will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER....leave us.

Relying on God

So tonight, a topic came up about support & doing things like the world or like a Christian...and I said how God can make things happen without us having to do things like the rest of the world. This hit me AFTER I said it, because I guess it's one of those things I took for granted in my beliefs. God really CAN make certain things work out without us having to do just like everyone else! The example was about Club 3 degrees, and how they've made it w/o selling alcohol. Well, yeah....just because the other clubs make their money from the alcohol, doesn't mean that this one does. Club 3 relies on God rather than man to support & sustain the ministry that has been put before it. Our God is a big God, the BIGGEST, the ONLY God who is alive and working, just as hard as He has from our beginning & long before that! How can we trust in our own doings when we are powerless without Him? How can we believe that we need to do as the world does in order to make things happen? We are not of the world, the things we produce should not be of the world, what we become should not look like the world. I don't know that there is an accurate comparison that I can give that would show just how different we are, or SHOULD be from the world. I'm reading this book about Ruth & Naomi....how Ruth was a Moabitess who married Naomi's son (a Hebrew) but how Naomi's sons & husband took on the appearance of a Moabite....dressing like them, talking like them, taking wives from that land...and they were accepted in Moab...but God was not pleased, and Ruth saw the difference in her mother in law. She saw enough difference that when given the choice to remain with what she knew, her home, her friends, her mom & dad, she gave it up willingly to follow after whatever that was that Naomi had and she didn't. She wanted to follow this God that had done marvelous things & made her mother in law the woman she was. I want to be like that, we should all be like that...so noticeably different from our surroundings that people are magnetized to our God. So separate in being, so set apart, so "weird" if you will, that people wonder what it is that we have that they do not. Do you have a God that transforms you like this? I do....I just haven't always been open to Him. But a God like that has grace, and I'm open for Him to make me different, changed, renewed, transformed....whatever He has to do in order for me to look more like Him than the world.

Thanksgiving

Hey! I haven't written here for such a long time, that this post will probably be long...bear with me. I went home, on the 7th of November to visit and go to my cousin's wedding. The wedding was gorgeous, and visiting family was fun. I had a great time just "chill'n" with my cousin Chelsea too....that was a highlight. (And also making cream-filled cupcakes with my Grandma!) When I got back to NY, I only had to Nanny one day, and got the other day off.....SWEET! Then, Thanksgiving came, and I had some relatives visiting NY over the weekend. They were staying at a really fancy hotel...it was a lot of fun visiting with them. They know the city really well, so it was fun to hear their perspective on the city. Also, it was just nice to have relatives/friends to visit with. It gives me a nice break to go out. Oh! And Emily's parents and sister came out for Thanksgiving, so it was fun to see them too. On Thanksgiving, all the church staff went to Adam & Becca's apartment for an early dinner. We all brought something to share. There was about 15 of us, so it was a nice sized dinner....then we played mafia! If you've never played the game, you should...15 people is a good number....or 10....for a nice length of a game. On Friday after Thanksgiving, we had another dinner, with leftovers and had about 40 people at the church. Adam had lined the tables with paper, so that we could color and write what we were thankful for right on the table...it was a lot of fun. We played mafia that night too......but there were so many people that it took FOREVER! It was still entertaining though! ...Okay, so I guess this post wasn't that long, but I will write another post soon about the Christmas tree lighting that I went to....well, I'll write about BOTH Christmas tree lightings. So long for now!

Halloween

Ah!!! Trick-or-Treat! On the morning of Halloween, I visited the bakery on our street. The owner asked if his two boys could come over later, and I said sure...around 4 o'clock. When I showed up at the bakery at 4, the dad was like....one minute! He ran in the back, got a Spider-man jacket for his 2-year-old son, and sent me off to go trick-or-treating with him! This picture is Kenny and me getting candy. He doesn't speak English, and was shy while we went to all the shops up and down 8th Ave., so I had to say "Trick-or-treat" at every place. We were out for an hour, and got him a lot of sugar!!! That night, I learned how to make Tandoorie Chicken (a really spicy and bright orange Indian dish). It was a lot of fun. After that, I came back to two of the neighborhood boys outside asking me to take THEM trick-or-treating. (So I did) for 15 min. 'cause all the shops were closing. I really feel more part of the community when I do things like that.
This weekend we did the Saturday school for the first time. We only had 3 kids show up, and one of them didn't speak English! We will be handing out fliers this week so we can get more kids. Overall, it was a trying week, but rewarding too. Tonight a few of us are baking cream-filled cupcakes with gnosh. You can keep praying that I will make solid relationships here, and for the relationship between my "partner in crime" Emily and I. On another note, I'm visiting home soon, so I'm excited about that! Yay....maybe I'll see some of you!

Fall Festival 2006

I'll write about this later....but here's the video!

Make video montages at onetruemedia.com