In the Quiet Moments, He is There

Life giving has come to me through the quiet moments I'm able to enjoy God's creation--alone, yet not by myself. Christ meets me there to speak to me, call me, comfort me & hold me. His joy is ever present--in the breeze, the warm sun, the wet rain, the color of the leaves, the stillness of the afternoon. Those moments He captures your undivided attention to remind you that He is. That He's been there all along--He sees you and knows you, loves you and rejoices over you.God is digging in my heart, finding the pain, frustration and sadness that is longing to be healed. "Soon," He says "soon you will be free." But when? Can I take my pain away? "No, but you can give it over, into the Hands that take hold of your life. The Ones that molded you, formed you & direct you. You'll make it someday! Just trust in Me--I'll take you down the road. I'll show you where to go." I don't know how long it'll take, but with God I'll make it.

"Til Kingdom Come"
(Video) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jSisMP2_F4
Steal my heart and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I've never felt this way before.

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummer begins to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know which way I've come.

Hold my head inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come, and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.---Coldplay

Who are Those People?

Who are those people who have driven you to grow deeper in your life? This question was posed to me twice this week. It’s something I don’t think about, yet their mark is heavily ingrained on my life. A part of who I am is clearly because of who they were or continue to be. These people hold a special place in my soul, whether they realize it or not. They each have projected a distinct facet of Christ’s glory & purpose to me in many different situations. Below, I have written a short description of a few of these people, but have not listed names…you’ll know who you are I hope. You deserve blessings beyond what I could give you or thank you for. You are what Christ meant when he sent us out: living vessels that proclaim the gospel in & throughout your life. For this, I say thank you.

Wonder Woman--She is a friend who is always encouraging other people, always leaving messages of hope & love. Her bright spirit & happy smile is contagious. Though we do not live close, I know her friendship is just as true now as ever. She’s given me such a vision of a great, fun, exciting mom & wife can be.

Papermaker—Her friendship is irreplaceable. Her fun & energetic life is inspiring. I know that conversations with her can easily go from funny stories to deep conversations about life & what it means. Sharing my thoughts with her is so easy because she is the kindest person that I may have ever met. When I see Carnations I think of her, though I know she thinks of gas stations when she sees them.

Longhorn Lovers—This couple could not be a better example of a vibrant couple living their life & faith together. When I’m around them, I feel such acceptance & love. Real, genuine care comes from them and they never make people feel like a third wheel. Encouragement & strength is abundant here.

Boulevardier—He is a leader & an example of family vs. visitors. He is a bold, straightforward speaker of Truth in Christ. The way his family has accepted me into their home & life has been life changing. Seeing him live out ministry among many cultures gives me a vision of heaven on earth.

Messianic Heroine—She has been a friend for so long that I cannot imagine life without her. Though we’ve never lived closer than 1442.10 miles, our friendship has grown very close. Her stories make me laugh & sometimes cry. Her bold thoughts have helped me embrace my own thoughts & not keep them hidden. I live though her soap opera drama lifestyle, and appreciate her insight into my REAL life.

Memory Keeper—This woman showed me what it was like to love people. She genuinely loved everyone from the UPS guy to the person behind the register. She proclaimed Christ in a humble way that not many people do, simply through caring deeply for those around her. Her life cannot be replaced with memories but will never be forgotten.

Healing

Okay, so the following is not something that I've written, but I think I've found my new life theme song....at least for today! It is amazing. Sanctus Real has got it going on for REAL! Aight, here it is:

"Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly)"

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender
[Chorus]
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...To...

[Chorus]
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

Blessed

Last night, while driving around Minneapolis, my radio was tuned into 91.5fm, a great Christian rock station which also plays clean secular music too! (It’s great!) I asked my friend if she’d heard of it before, she said no & I then told her just HOW great it was, and encouraged her to try it sometime! Well, it really didn’t occur to me WHY I was so excited to tell her about it until this morning. I thought...why did I mention it specifically to her & not to my other friend in the car? Well, the one lives downtown Minneapolis, where the station comes in really great! ...and the other friend doesn’t...like me, so we can’t tune in the station at all. :-( I thought it out further and thought it’s like...I really appreciate that station, what it says, who they are, what they do, etc...but because of where I live, I don’t have the opportunity to enjoy or listen to it! Therefore, when I find out someone I care about DOES live in an area where you can hear the station, I feel compelled to tell them about it. Since I can’t hear it, but they can, it’s like aHHHH! Listen for goodness sakes!

This is not just a bunch of ramblings...I do have a point. How many of us live in an area where Christianity is suppressed or banned? I doubt if any of us do. (Maybe suppressed a little, but more by ourselves.) What a great opportunity then, seeing that we HAVE the signal, we can hear the gospel, we can talk about it….but why don’t we? People in other countries or under other governments don’t have the freedoms we do when it comes to our faith. It feels like I hear things from those oppressed people like “don’t take your faith for granted,” or “you don’t understand how good you have it,” or “if I had the life you do, I would be telling all sorts of people about Jesus.” It makes me wonder...why don’t I head that thought, or act on it?

Vintage Thoughts

So this is really random, but last night I was thinking about all these fun things I used to like...do any of you remember the little jelly packets that used to come with oatmeal? You could make fun designs on them....or just eat it plain. mmm Okay, yep, and how about when we would seriously spray paint our hair a rediculous green color for HS homecoming games? Or LisaFrank notebooks....seriously, how cool were they! Okay, a little bit more recently, I loved random people meeting in college...baking cookies or oreo truffles with Mandy & then bringing them to the "stud" and inviting people over! Fun. And what about seeing dark shadowy people staring into our windows....and then realizing their just cardboard cutouts of Michael W. Smith? Going to Perkins until ungodly hours in the morning to do "homework" when we really knew there would be absolutely NOTHING accomplished, and who cared? ...then coming home to a haunted house...ah! Or taking spur of the moment roadtrips to....IOWA....of all the places we could have gone! ha.

Pure Joy!

Something caught my attention this week, causing me to ponder about happiness & joy. I thought...does happiness equal joy? No...but then what is the difference? Because I have joy, but not always happiness. Made me wonder. So I looked into our real joy...simply, it is a fruit that is grown by the Spirit inside of us. Among the other things that should grow abundantly: love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23) For me, I think happiness is something that's a "perk" if you will...not a given. Joy however, is something we can find & maintain through sorrow or pain. Joy is that inner calm that connects the hope of our future with the desire for sustinence, which brings us the reminder of joy. Although "stuff" happens, there's something inside that keeps finding little things to delight in...and I can't take any of the credit, because it's not ME that brings those little things into my path. **Interjection, I read a quote this week "If you can't find joy along the path, don't expect to find it when you reach the end of the path."**"When my anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." (Psalm 94:19) Christ is my consolation. He is my comforter & has provided me with a joy that will not be shaken. If I cling to this, Job's words in 6:10 will be my words as well..."Then I would still have this consolation--my joy in unrelenting pain--that I had not denied the words of the Holy One." I cannot say that I am always pure in my thoughts, or that I'm never angry or upset, but deep down I hold on to God as my anchor. Through this, my joy fuels my hope & my hope is enhanced by joy because I can trust that " They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away." (Isaiah 35:10) Yay for Joy!

A Love-Hate Relationship

So again, I'm still pondering the big things that happen in our lives, why they happen & when the heck it will stop! I've had a great week....truly, honestly it was a hard week, but I can also say that it has brought me some peace & clarity to my other days that weren't so great. I'm sure you're wondering now too, what is this love-hate relationship that this post is titled after...well, it's a love-hate relationship I have with death & dying. Odd eh? I know....you'll come to accept me as I am. On one hand, death really sucks. It does! For those of us who have to endure the after effects of someone close dying, it's something you don't want to face, let alone feel. Jesus felt the pain of friends dying, listen to this: "When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, 'Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.' When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 'Where have you laid him?' he asked. 'Come and see, Lord,' they replied. Jesus wept." (John 11:32-35) I know he knows our pain, our tears & the heartache one feels when someone leaves us here… Also, on the same thought, death is so uncertain. "Isaac said, 'I am now an old man and don't know the day of my death.'" (Genesis 27:2) Part of me likes to think that God knows I'm having a hard time, and wouldn't take my Grandma away right now, because it would basically kill me. But really, is that how death works? Can we control it? Can we find a "good time" for someone to die? Isaac knew this wasn't true, and even Solomon did when he writes..."In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." (Proverbs 16:9) We cannot know what God's plan for us is...when we'll die or how. Alright, onto the Love part...so this is why I love death: That is when we will be joined together with our Heavenly Father, to eternally praise & worship together as a family of Christ. We will walk alongside the river of life & bask in the light of God's glory. We will taste the fruits that were unknown to us & rejoice in the blessings God had poured on us during this earthly life. We will experience something not known to man, something so beautiful it is beyond our comprehension! My Grandpa is there, my friend Julie is there, the siblings I've never met are there, I believe my other friends & family too shall be there. In a sick & rather twisted way, I know that my Grandma would like to be finished with this torment, the pain and agony of each day passing without holding onto my Grandpa's hand...I do not want to be selfish & pray for her to stay here for me, because I know she's in pain....and wants to go. So...it's a love-hate relationship....while I hate the effects of death here on earth, I know that for those who have put their whole faith & trust in Christ Jesus as their Savior will rejoice the second they have departed us. For that, I say bring it on. (But Christ, I'm trusting in you to be there when it comes....for I will need you.)